sorry!

i apologize for not posting last week - i perform on tuesday nights, so i actually watch idol when i get home, sometimes very late...last week, i needed to get up earlier that usual, hence no post...

did i miss much? i still have it on my DVR, so i might dust it off for future retroactive blogging. i cannot say i am sad to see chikeze go...that was eze. i am still not rocking syesha and ramulay has completely lost any credit she built for herself in the audition. david cook continues to impress, brooke needs to sound pretty and shut up, and then there's everyone else...at least, to me. but enough about the past...let's talk DOLLY PARTON!!!

who knew Dolly P. wrote 3,000 songs?!?!?!? yikes! she's a regular Rivers Cuomo. She is looking good, and seems super sweet. i predict Kristy Lee will sing "9-5", Syesha will sing "I Will Always Love You", unless Ramulay butchers it, and Archuleta will try to pull out the saddest song in the Parton songbook. let's begin!!!

1. Brooke White - starting off! pretty good...singing "Jolene", the "new classic". eh, i am with Simon. don't quite get the stage picture of Brooke and her posse. it's like when a pretty girl wants to look legit, she busts out that dude with the shaker box (see McPhee, Katharine). i don't really know how well she knows these instruments. whenever she plays anything, i am so fearful that she will completely let her vocals and she sorta did. it's not second nature like David Cook's guitar...i can see Brooke thinking when she's playing and that makes me uncomfortable.

Brooke, shut up!!!! do NOT talk to Paula about her hair, just shut up!!!!!!

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B+

2. David Cook - 'Fess up, David - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!?!?!?!?!? seriously, you are not kidding anyone with that spray hair...this is fascinating - he really can win now, so the have to figure out what the hell to do with him.

"Sparrow"? NEVER heard of this song. man, i know now how Dolly wrote 3,000 songs. they all sound the same! David Cook shows us how it's done. i'm not wild about it, but it sounded like a Dave Cook original. the guy turns things into his own and i think someone out there would buy it...good for Dave Cook!! Brooke, learn from Cook!

Song Choice: B
Performance: A-

3. Ramulay - eh, even Dolly doesn't believe in her! i don't know this song at all...she sounds tired, out of breath. i don't get this lady - does she not know how to control her breath? she's got such great tone, i really had high hopes for her...diminishing returns. it pains me to write about her because she so obviously is not going to win.

Song Choice: B
Performance:C+

4. Jason - i'm kinda sick of this guy...too aloof. but Dolly is so in love with this dude!

"Traveling Through" - i don't know any Dolly Parton songs! it's me, i believe. sounds pretty good. i think he made a smart choice. this type of hippy-dippy shit is his sweet spot. he owns that laid-back nature...a pleasant surprise.

Song Choice: A
Performance: A-


5. Carly - finally, a song i know! it sounds like she is changing up the tempo - i am digging it already, but perhaps that's because i know this. hmm...was she supposed to rock out on that one note? it sorta sonded like a chicken out halfway through...ah, but she busts a big note out in the end. i liked it, dude!

ugh, stop it Paula and Randy - you guys stink up the room.

Song Choice: A+
Performance: A

6. Archuleta - geez, how old are you, man! old man!! another moody ballad. seriously, he needs to get out of the dregs. one trick pony, dude...getting old, almost older than you!

somewhere, this boy's urge to try disappeared...this song sounds like "Desperado". although, i must admit, the shit sounds good!!

Song Choice: A (i can't believe it, either!)
Performance: A

7. Kristy Lee - i'm getting bored...i don't think that Dolly has written enough songs for me to keep interest...not satisfied with 3,000!

this girl keeps getting lucky with the genres...she sounds good because it's country, but i still see emptiness in the eyes - the girl could not keep my interest!

Song Choice: B
Performance:B

8.Syesha - called it! that Syesha loves those unrequited love songs, don't she?? she's not Whitney, and that hurts anyone who sings a Whitney song. i do think that she did a good job considering, but who dare tackles the beast!

i just hate her so.

Song Choice: C
Performance: B+

9. Michael Johns - i didn't realize we were dressing so formally for dinner! he looks cheesy to the max and still sings as if he smelled a fart. ah, play to the audience - mentioning the word "sexy" in this audience is enough to freak out the 'tweens...i think that this guy is the "soul guy" because there's no one else. but he's definitely not a vocal great. it's getting better, but i don't know, i'm not convinced that he can go the distance.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B+

deja vudoo

Lennon/McCartney again?!?!? seriously, this well has been tapped dry, methinks. why more of the same? will we see the same results as last week? popular demand - i certainly did not demand any of this...alas, all i can do is watch, and judge.

it's tough to watch the full show so late, so i apologize for the shortness of this blog in particular...

1. Amanda - i totally dug her last week and think she is a breath of fresh air, although sometimes she completely misses the mark...i am hoping she does well...

"Back in the U.S.S.R." - i was hoping she would sing this song! i think there are not many songs that suit her style and this is one of them. hmm, i don't like this very much. the key is a little off, like she isn't singing in her sweet spot. she's someone who i was slightly worried about in terms of singing a second Beatles song. i've seen better and i've certainly seen worse from her, but i'm sorry that this was right in the middle.

Song Choice: A
Performance: C

2. Kristy Lee Cook - eh, i'm tired of her.

"You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" - she picked this from the title?!?!?!? what's with these people - are they completely sequestered away from any music? people, this is the freakin' Beatles!

KLC looks like Kate Bosworth and is just as exciting to me. she sings this song like she's never heard it before and i need her to go go go go go.

Song Choice: C-
Performance: C-

3. David Archuleta - i hope he feels vulnerable after last week's complete flameout! you need to earn this, Archuleta!!!!!

"The Long and Winding Road" - Zzzzzzzzzzzz...i don't need to see another sad sad song from the Archman. hmm...very obvious earpiece - perhaps someone is feeding the lyrics into his ear? great voice, one trick...but the ladies love it! LL Cool Dave

Song Choice: B-
Performance: B

4. Michael Johns - bring back the spark, please! the spark! i remember you had a good voice and people like you...you need to bring it back, Michael Johns!

"A Day in the Life" - risky! i love it! i am very excited that he chose this song, work it out, Michael Johns! couldn't hit the high notes...hmm...he has got to stop rocking that mike like Mike Hutchence - it is getting uncanny. this guy cannot hold long notes. and, if you saw the results show last week, he sweats like crazy...and he's a tennis player? i don't believe him!

Song Choice: A
Performance: C

5. Brooke - you got to go home?!? is this fair? hmm...i don't know if i should judge her harder or easier...

"Here Comes the Sun" - i love this song...i guess it's not Lennon/McCartney exclusively..."Woo!" - what the eff was that? i think she realizes she only has one note...she needs a song with a little more meat to it. this was the same line over and over again...i was hoping for more from Brooke White...ah, at least i know KLC is going home.

why was she talking so much? she's not their bud, she's a contestant...stop talking, lady! STOP TALKING.

Song Choice: B-
Performance: B

6. David Cook - what next from David Cook?? please don't fall into Brooke's trap of a bad 2nd song...

"Daytripper" - eh, i couldn't give two shits about this song, to be honest. but i'm intrigued by anyone who would cover a Whitesnake version of anything. is that a Frampton weirdo mike next to him? even more intrigued. i'm glad he thinned the sides of his combover. a little more tolerable.

he's got the chops, but i don't like him as much this week as last week.

Song Choice: C
Performance: B+

7. Carly - i got nothing to say about her!

"Blackbird" - i'm glad someone chose this...i think this will provide nice contrast to her last performance...what is she wearing?!?!?!?!?!? she is dressing like Ann Wilson without the Ann Wilson bod! when she took it up the octave, that's when the song finally started to COOK! i dug it by the end, but it took a while.

Song Choice: A
Performance: A-

no one is setting me on fire tonight - i think everyone feels stale from the Beatles redux. what is with all the backtalk from these contestants???

8. Jason Castro - his hair is too distracting. and he's a little bit of a bimbo.

"Michelle" - it's all right...i don't totally dig this guy. and i certainly don't get that shirt he's wearing. but he will go far, because ladies love him, too. LL Cool Dreadhead. he just walks through these songs and i guess that's charming, but i don't buy it.

Song Choice: C+
Performance: C-

9. Syesha - i'm so sick of you still! ugh, stop talking about your voice, fool! "Can you believe that I, Syesha Mercado, was in the bottom three?!?!?!?!? Crazy!" she's so freakin' full of herself.

"Yesterday" - can you not go through a song without changing the gender????? you are so annoying, Syesha. it wasn't as horrible as i wished it was, because i do not want her on my television set anymore.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B-

10. Chikeze - i don't like him very much. he also seems like a bimbo.

"I've Just Seen a Face" - i never heard this song either...it sounds more like Wings than Beatles. is he trying to take the reins from Kristy Lee Cook? what's with the country dipping AGAIN. what a specialized one-trick pony to pony. "I'm Chikeze, the half-country version-half regular version of an unknown song guy!"

Song Choice:C
Performance: C+

11. Ramulay - i think she actually used her pre-song the best...i could just picture Brooke and David Cook tucking her in at night...

"I Should Have Known Better" - i really like this song, but was anxious about how it would sound...i think she sounds great!!!!! i can actually tell she has a nice voice, and that there's a personality behind it. of course, it's an incredibly young personality, but i dig it. since David Archuleta insists on singing like an old man, we need someone to bring the youth!

Song Choice: B-
Performance: A-

ugh, too hard to figure out who is going to go home this week!!! Beatles, Part II was a bust!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bottom 3: Amanda, Kristy Lee, Chikeze
Going Home: Amanda (i know, i'm shocked, too!)

i'm baaaaaaack...

it's AMERICAN IDOL Top 12, which means narc.com is back in session!

ideally, i would love to be able to narc 24/7, but my real world has collided with my cyber-world and i must prioritize. but i love me some Top 12, so let's get it started!!!!

1. Syesha - full disclosure: i hate this girl so much. she's so "don't hate me because i'm beautiful and talented." and the mugging - her faces drives me crazy! although i cannot stand her, i must admit she's got a great voice. but, thank goodness, she she still bores me to tears...

"Got to Get You Into My Life" - poor choice, syeeeeeeesh! as randy would say, "pitchy". i am trying to give honest reviews by not forwarding through performances on my DVR, but i was tempted. she looks like she's trying too hard and realizes she lacks a core fanbase. too cheesy!! GRADE: C Performance, D Song Choice

2. Chikeze - are they putting all my dogs together in the front of the show? chikeze showed some mad 'tude in the first week and i have never gotten over it. he is not the next luther vandross, no matter what he's trying to sell me. did he just say he used to "feel people up"? chikeze! couldn't even stop the 'tude for your own mother!!

"She's a Woman" - i'll be honest, i don't know this song...and that might work in his favor. the beginning, i'll admit, was pretty cool. i love me some banjo. why did he choose to rock it out? i am scared that i don't hear too many hoots and hollers from the crowd. those hoots and hollers are the ones who redial and redial...he did better than i thought - which stinks, because i picked him to leave first. his reaction is a little too Cuba Gooding Jr. - be surprised and gracious, please! GRADE: B+ Performance, and i do this begrudgingly, A Song Choice

3. Ramiele (aka "Ramulay", as i remember her name) - what's with all these people talking about their parent's listening to the oldies? i'm old...

"In My Life" - STOP GOING DOWN THE STAIRS, PEOPLE! it doesn't do anyone any favors! i can't believe she dedicated this to the fallen idols - "Some are dead and some are living" - Danny Noriega?!?!? i had high hopes for this girl, but they are fading fast. she bores me. she takes no chances, she has a pretty voice, but i feel like she performs to listen to the sound of her own voice. if you want to hear the voice, just do scales - i need her to take chances. she is wasting her idol chances! and to sing this song the same exact way we've always heard it - BORING!!!! she has a great instrument, but she doesn't want to push it...she needs to push it!!! GRADE: C- Performance, C- Song Choice

4. Jason Castro - this guy seems so jaded. arg, will he play the guitar again??

"If I Fell" - i love this song so much!!!!!! great song choice. he sounds like Enrique Iglesias when he's trying to get into our collective pants. i think Castro brings something different to Idol, but i don't know if it's enough...i don't know if this style will sustain - he needs to prove he can sing! he's a singer meant for earphones, not for the radio. GRADE: B performance, A Song Choice

5. Carly - i dig this girl. i dig her voice. i know she will choose interesting songs and really pound them out. she's not my fave, a little too cold, personality-wise...but her seacrest interview segment warmed her up a bit. hmm, interesting old pic of her...very 4 Non-Blondes.

"Come Together" - interesting to reveal she usually sings this...did she say she usually does this acoustic? that would have been cool. but i like this - she rocked it out and showed off her great voice. i think she still doesn't know how to look at the camera, but i liked it! GRADE: A- Performance, A- Song Choice

6. David Cook - this guy rocks that Gavin DeGraw haircut so hard...too famous now to go Daughtry on his locks. did he just smash a guitar? come on, people - he's not The Who!

"Eleanor Rigby" - what is he wearing? is he a vampire? someone got more wardrobe money and let it go to his neck. he played it like a Gavin Rossdale wannabe up until the chorus - he did really well on that. that is the sweet spot for his voice. i was afraid he would go all "Crow" on me, but he pulled it out and i thoroughly enjoyed it!!! he turned the song into his own - good enough to rewind!! GRADE: A Performance, A Song CHoice

7. Brooke White - she reminds me so much of a friend of mine, in voice and mannerisms. i actually thought she was a relative of my friend...i really dig brooke white.

"Let It Be" - love this song, hope hope hope hope she does it justice. love this song! i don't know what i think about her playing the piano - she needs to pay attention to us! i really dig her voice and think she's doing the song justice, but she isn't giving me anything new, you know? i wonder what the judges will think of this one...i got to give her more props than ramulay because she's not just trying to sell herself as a "vocalist", but more as a "musician". she is genuine. can't fake that. she rocked it the same as Carly - nothing new to the style, but she made a brooke white song. ugh, put your shoes on, woman!GRADE: A-, A+ Song Choice

8. David Hernandez - i get it! i get it! you're a regular dude! you're not a stripper anymore! i get it!

"I Saw Her Standing There" - Beatles 101? He paid good money to learn when "I Saw Her Standing There" was written? eh, i took a class on Disney my freshman year of college, so i can't be too judgmental. but i can judge how friggin' bored i am by sir hernandez. seriously, i dig the beatles mucho, but this song would not have been anywhere on my list. seriously...i am bored to death...i wonder what Amanda will sing??? i finally placed his face - Ray Romano's dare-i-say "sexier" brother??? he and Syesha are the cheese twinsGRADE: C Performance, C- Song Choice

9. Amanda - she did her hair!!! she did her hair!!! she's such a cutie, i wish she didn't border on trainwreck sometimes. wait, is she a nurse or a salesperson? a salesnurse-on.

"You Can't Do That" - she picked a song she never heard before? are you freakin' kidding me???? i thought she would do "Sgt. Pepper's". surprise surprise - she sounds great!!!!! she is rockin' it! i really dig this. weird, it sounds like she had more time than the others for her song...two choruses? that stuff at the end? hey, i'm not complaining - i really really dug it. she made it her own gin-soaked original and thank goodness, someone who is woman enough to keep the lyrics to the original gender of the song (yeah, Syesha, i'm talking to you!!!!!!) bravo, amanda! thank goodness the goods came through on the big stage! good enough to rewind! GRADE: A+ Performance, B+ Song Choice

10. Michael Johns - they want this guy to be Michael Hutchence so bad - being from Austraila does not equal Michael Hutchence!!!

"Across the Universe" - i hope this is good. this guy has been diminishing returns ever since his audition. he sings like he smelled a fart. he rocks looks to the camera, but i'm not buying it for some reasons. the girls in the audience are wooing him for no reason at times. i believe he's safe, but i'm not excited by the song choice or the performance. not masculine enough, not feminine enough, he doesn't have enough charisma for me. i would be impressed if he were my tennis instructor singing like this, but a singer singing like this? this is the much-hyped Michael Johns?!?!?!?!? GRADE: B- Performance, C- Song Choice

11. Kristy Lee Cook - ugh, just get out of here! we get it, you're a country girl, but you're also really sporty and manly. we get it!

"Eight Days a Week" - what? what a dumb choice. too fast! too fast! sounds like a cartoon!! does she consider this taking a chance? we all knew she would do this! eh, at least it was a version i never heard before (yeah, i'm talking to you, Ramulay!) oh my goodness, voting public, please do not Haley Scarnato this woman into the top 7! GRADE: C+ Performance, F Song Choice

ASIDE: RYAN, PLEASE STOP EGGING ON SIMON. PAULA AND RANDY, STOP INTERRUPTING SIMON'S CRITIQUE. IT'S KILLING THE SHOW AND IT MAKES THE CONTESTANTS HAVE TO STAND THERE AWKWARDLY LIKE THEIR WATCHING THEIR PARENTS FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOOD COURT.

as the Beatles via Brooke White say, "sometimes you gotta let it be"!!!!!!

12. Archuleta - aka frontrunner???

"We Can Work It Out" - please don't stick to Stevie Wonder! ugh...you did. unoriginal unoriginal unoriginal.

GET OFF OF THOSE STAIRS, YOU BOOGER! did he forget the words? no, he did not - he did!!!! ugh!!! i think these are the first chinks in his armor - he stinks at this song. i am muy disappointed. yeah, you bet there's a chance you might fall apart before too long! GRADE: F Performance, B- Song Choice, F- Arrangement Choice

Bottom 3: David Hernandez, Chikeze, Kristy Lee Cook
Going Home: KRISTY LEE COOK

Idol Tuesday

ah...4 people left means DOUBLE THE SONGS!!!! delicious.

oh, BROTHERS GIBB - this was my favorite night during season 2...Clay sang "To Love Somebody", which was my favorite performance of that season, so this night has plenty of shoes to fill...

1A. Melinda - ohmygodmelindacanyoupickasongSOMEONEknows?!?!?!? i think melinda likes to see how far she can take it in annoying the viewers. this is the freakin' BEEGEES and you pick this song? no one knows this song! i totally agree with simon, it was a backing vocal disguised as a lead. when no one knows the song, you need to carry it even more. girl, do you want to leave?

Song Choice - D
Performance - C-

2A. Blake - methinks Barry Gibb does not like the beatboxing...GEEZ! why does Blake get special microphones with echo????? Paula is standing, but not dancing...she is brainwashed! his beatboxing sounded like stuttering.

gimmick gimmick gimmick.
lay it on thick thick thick.
makes me sick sick sick.

Song Choice - B+
Performance - D

3A. Lakisha - ooh...she did NOT follow the gospel of Gibb! will she be punished for not taking his suggestions? no power! where is the strong Lakisha voice?

I NEED PHIL STACEY!!!

Song Choice - B
Performance - C

4A. Jordin - Finally! some great song choices...can she top Clay? i have such a strong emotional connection with that performance. wow, HUGE praise from Sir Gibb...we shall see...i didn't have the same impression Gibb had. she didn't make the connection i needed, but it was the best so far...

Song Choice - A+
Performance - B+

1B. Melinda - oh, i am so through with your song choices. you obviously don't want to win! you don't want to produce original material! poor choices - i am not into this at all. her voice sounds good, great even, but i am not feeling this material. she needs to sell herself as an ARTIST, not just a singer! i'm not buying it.

Song Choice - C-
Performance - B+

2B. Blake - ohmygod, i LOVE this song!! my friend pete's mom loves the BeeGees and she played this for me in her kitchen and i thought this song was so great. yes, this is what will save Blake, his top-notch original song choices. minus the still-annoying beatboxing, his performance was good! i can't believe i'm saying this. i actually rewinded it! could it just be my love for the song? i don't know, but it fit his style and it sounded like a modern song...wow!

Song Choice - A++ (the extra + is for the great surprise!)
Performance - B+ (that stoopid beatboxing tok him down a peg!)

3B. Lakisha - her voice is strong, but i just can't picture myself listening to it on the radio. i think she could be strong in a show, where you need to understand the lyrics. i can picture it: "The Color Purple, starring Lakisha"...

Song Choice - B
Performance - C+

4B. Jordin - oh, jordin, if you sing "how deep is your love" or "too much heaven", i will fall in love! the barbra song? eh, i guess...man, they should call him Boner Gibb for the way he heaps the praise onto Jordin. she has a VERY slight case of the Sanjiyas - she sounds much better in rehearsal than onstage. i don't know what it is...is she an EXTRAORDINARY ordinary person? or simply a good extraordinary person?

Song Choice - B
Performance - B

Who's going home: Lakisha, second to Melinda (i got a feeling...)

the BONMAN!!!

oh, have i been waiting for this!! JON BON JOVI!!! this is going to be the best idol night yet!

pre-performance thoughts:
- i think phil will sing "always"
- i am excited to see what melinda picks. if it's some stupid song no one knows, but was used in some 90's film soundtrack (no, i don't mean "Blaze of Glory"), she will be forever dead to me!
- beatboxing blake will return...

okay, let's get started!!

- poor bon jovi piano player! no respect!!

1. Phil - I LOVE YOU, PHIL!!!! "Blaze of Glory", awesome!!! so awesome!!! he ditched the hat!! but PHIL - why start in the audience! i don't know why people do this. it doesn't make your song sound better. but he has finally learned to walk and sing without sounding winded. phil is singing to win and it is glorious!!

Randy Jackson played on Blaze of Glory?!?!?! "You were like Steve Perry on a Bon Jovi Song!" - how many names can he mash and drop? Paula is acting like he is leaving tomorrow and apparently Simon agrees.

Song Choice - 5 Bonmans (out of a possible 5)
Performance - 4 1/2 Bonmans (only because he didn't RIP into the song at the end like Bonman does)

DON'T BE COCKY PHIL!!

2. Jordin - hmm..."Livin' on a Prayer"?!? i don't think i'm going to like this rendition..."My mom is going to flip out" - god, can you make the guy sound any older?!?!? Why did Jordin choose THE karaoke song of the ages! Jordin! your hair looks like BUTT. this is like when she sang Pat Benetar - i'm not buying it. she's a strong voice, but when she tries to sing 'tude, it just sounds muddied. i needed to hear GLOCKSON sing this!!! Jordin, you have revealed your Achille's heal...

man, the judges are so obvious - praising her for her mistakes?! jeez, so fake. we know you want her to win, can you sugarcoat it more? Simon, thanks for keeping it real.

Song Choice - 3 Bonmans (too familiar, too hard, should have sang "Always")
Performance - 1 Bonman

3. Lakisha - "This Ain't a Love Song"?!?!? i knew it, Lakisha would pick THE DUD. this song is the 51st most popular Bon Jovi song in iTunes! goodness, "I'll Be There for You"? "Always" (can you tell i love "Always"?) even the shitty "Bed of Roses" would have been better than this stupid song. BOO! i thought she sang it well for someone who learned it that day.

Song Choice - 0 Bonmans
Performance - 3 1/2 Bonmans

4. Blake - what happened to your hair? poop. the dude still can't sing! Bonman, you are a smart smart man. Blake, you look like a douchebag version of Jailhouse Rock. the man hides his paper-thin voice behind flashy clothes and beats. the gimmick train has jumped the tracks - please!! i want off!!

Song Choice - 4 Bonmans
Performance - 1/2 Bonmans (you must appreciate your enemies for the snark they provide you)

HEY!! MY FRIEND LENNON WAS JUST IN THAT MAYTAG COMMERCIAL!!! AMAZING!!

5. Chris - poor poor chris. always going to be compared to blake. for no reason at all. "make it like it's the last"? geez, do you want to ask to go home? Chris, you're a douche - how could you not know "i've seen a million faces...AND I ROCKED THEM ALL!"?!?!?!? the Bonman is showing his doubts. i'm with you, Bonman...i can feel the desperation radiating from his voice...singing too hard, trying too hard. the end picked up, but i don't think it was enough. when paula says "you did your thing", you know you're in trouble.

Song Choice - 4 1/2 Bonmans
Performance - 3 Bonmans

6. Melinda - god help me if you sing a song i've never heard of. "Have a Nice Day"?!?!? geez louise, Melinda, you are such a dork!!!!! she is the Rachael Ray of American Idol. Melinda, you needed to pick a song that THE FANS KNOW. i didn't want "Always" from you, but with Jordin singing so poorly, this was Melinda's chance to clean up, and she just slopped around in it.

Song Choice - 0 Bonmans
Performance - 3 Bonmans

WHO'S GOING? Chris and (sad to say) Phil

Idol Tuesday

Charity! Sweet Charity! i don't feel sincerity in Idols Give Back, but am excited at the amount of scratch they will raise. the theme tonight is inspirational songs...which can either be filled with awesome chord progressions or some funky ass cheese.

i think it might be harder to be snarky at this point because to be in the top 6...you must be doing something right. but i'll see if i can find any little thing to rip them apart over.

1. Chris R - good song choice. i can't believe he used the same guitar guy that messed up twice for him, but he didn't mess up tonight. as for Chris...eh...i think his voice is a little young for the song, but he didn't go cah-ra-zy with the runs, which is nice. i don't necessarily go as wild as Randy or even Simon, but i think he didn't completely shoot himself in the foot.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B+

2. Melinda - FINALLY acting her age!! i love it! first off, do NOT change your hairstyle. this is the one to keep. i think she sounded great and the song, even though i've never heard of it, did catch on me. the critiques are spot on - she was great!!

Song Choice: A
Performance: A

ugh...is blake doing imagine??

3. Blake - zzzzzzzzzzzzz...this boy cannot sing, people! get it through your head! this vocal was so weak-ass weak. yeah, yeah, yeah, john lennon didn't blast this song out when he sang it, but we also knew his voice was capable of "twist and shout". blake is not capable! ugh, paula, don't drink the kool-aid, he wasn't sensitive and soft because that's what he wanted, but because he couldn't sing it any stronger!

i am curious to see how Phil would have attacked that song.

Song Choice: A
Performance: B-

4. Lakisha - is it cheesy to say i LOVE this song?? we'll see how it is. Fantasia BUSTS this song out, how will Lakisha hold up? eh, not really...her voice is strong, but it's unruly - she needs honest to goodness TRAINING. it's an instrument and she can't keep it on full blast the whole time.

Song Choice: A+
Performance: C+

5. Phil - DITCH THE HAT!!! sounds pretty good, a little overdone. the man bores me at this point. man, he knows he's not winning so he just wants to win the Bucky Covington consolation country contract. i think he's safe to get a record deal (i mean, William Hung did).

Song Choice: ?
Performance: $

6. Jordin - she's singing CAROUSEL!!! i was in this show in high school, so i have a very soft spot for anything from this show. cheesy-ass ending to the song, but it sounded strong...not the BEST jordin performance, but it will do. i see a jordin/melinda finale.

Song Choice: !
Performance: A

Idol Tuesday

Charity! Sweet Charity! i don't feel sincerity in Idols Give Back, but am excited at the amount of scratch they will raise. the theme tonight is inspirational songs...which can either be filled with awesome chord progressions or some funky ass cheese.

i think it might be harder to be snarky at this point because to be in the top 6...you must be doing something right. but i'll see if i can find any little thing to rip them apart over.

1. Chris R - good song choice. i can't believe he used the same guitar guy that messed up twice for him, but he didn't mess up tonight. as for Chris...eh...i think his voice is a little young for the song, but he didn't go cah-ra-zy with the runs, which is nice. i don't necessarily go as wild as Randy or even Simon, but i think he didn't completely shoot himself in the foot.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B+

2. Melinda - FINALLY acting her age!! i love it! first off, do NOT change your hairstyle. this is the one to keep. i think she sounded great and the song, even though i've never heard of it, did catch on me. the critiques are spot on - she was great!!

Song Choice: A
Performance: A

ugh...is blake doing imagine??

3. Blake - zzzzzzzzzzzzz...this boy cannot sing, people! get it through your head! this vocal was so weak-ass weak. yeah, yeah, yeah, john lennon didn't blast this song out when he sang it, but we also knew his voice was capable of "twist and shout". blake is not capable! ugh, paula, don't drink the kool-aid, he wasn't sensitive and soft because that's what he wanted, but because he couldn't sing it any stronger!

i am curious to see how Phil would have attacked that song.

Song Choice: A
Performance: B-

4. Lakisha - is it cheesy to say i LOVE this song?? we'll see how it is. Fantasia BUSTS this song out, how will Lakisha hold up? eh, not really...her voice is strong, but it's unruly - she needs honest to goodness TRAINING. it's an instrument and she can't keep it on full blast the whole time.

Song Choice: A+
Performance: C+

5. Phil - DITCH THE HAT!!! sounds pretty good, a little overdone. the man bores me at this point. man, he knows he's not winning so he just wants to win the Bucky Covington consolation country contract. i think he's safe to get a record deal (i mean, William Hung did).

Song Choice: ?
Performance: $

6. Jordin - she's singing CAROUSEL!!! i was in this show in high school, so i have a very soft spot for anything from this show. cheesy-ass ending to the song, but it sounded strong...not the BEST jordin performance, but it will do. i see a jordin/melinda finale.

Song Choice: !
Performance: A

Idol Tuesday

Martina McBride brings some country to Idol country. she's a little boring, and it looks like she doesn't like ANYTHING, but we'll see how our idols fare...

1. Phil - geez! beg much? he should have sung "Desperado", he's so desperado for a post-idol career (which begins tomorrow night, by the way). i worry for him tonight. i was wrong last week about him getting the boot, but i really feel it for tomorrow. the judge's comments were too good!

Song Choice: B+ (i'll give him the benefit of the doubt, since i don't know Mr. Kidman's music)
Performance: B+

2. Jordan - what a songbird!! great song choice, great performance, although i thought that it took a little too long to build up to the real juice...isn't this the song that pickler impressed the judges with at her audition? it's all i heard in the idol previews (THAT was an incorrect prediction)...anyways, kudos - jordan shows sparks, and i actually thought of that before realizing her last name was sparks.

Song Choice: A
Performance: A

3. Sanjaya - "well, everyone is talking about me already, blahblahblah..." uh-oh, sanjaya's drunken the kool-aid and really believes he can win this thing. in fact, he's stopped trying! great song choice, horrid performance!! the boy doesn't give two poops, it seems, because the vote is locked in...now exciting anymore! sanjaya has reached his saturation point!!

Song Choice: A+
Performance: poop

4. Lakisha - Underwood, YES!!!!!! wonderful wonderful choice. good thing, because Lakisha is slipping from people's radar. a pretty good performance, but i am always expecting to say "pretty great" and i can't. her voice is so thick and powerful, it swallows songs. hmm...i don't feel good this week.

Song Choice: A++
Performance: B

5. Chris R. - eh...what?!?!? bad song choice, Chris R. Chris put the flatts in Rascal Flatts. the song isn't bad, but i don't know it, and it has way too many different pieces for me to learn it and sing it back. and that's what you need for a memorable idol performance. did the violin mess up? is this the SECOND time an instrument failed on chris? he must poop in the band pit before tapings.

Song Choice: D
Performance: C

PS. Chris, DON'T FIGHT WITH SIMON!!! CHRIS, DON'T MENTION VIRGINIA TECH!!!!!!!!!! cheap cheap cheap. geez, chris is trying to scrape votes in the most desperado way. we have a new phil on our hands!!!!!

by the way, WHERE ARE THE DIXIE CHICKS?!?!!??! don't people know what songs to sing? i'm holding out for (please!) blake!

6. Melinda - nice hair! "Trouble is a woman" - finally, a brand new song...from 1999. it seems like she did what Simon wanted Lakisha to do with her song, infuse her own vocal style into the song. Melinda makes every song age like a fine wine. old old old, but solid.

Song Choice: A-
Performance: A

7. Blake - GREAT song choice - i was only familiar with The Corrs/Bono version. smart to cut to the chase right away (Jordan, learn how to cut a song from this guy). but i still don't see how people can't see that THIS GUY CAN'T SING. he is riding the strong, steady wave of amazing song choices, but he doesn't have the chops to hold it up. do not promote this guy to the top two. or do so, knowing that when they have to sing original material, that he is going to sink like a stone!!! when paula mentioned that blake was the "whole package", i think she was a little too focused on his "whole package".

Song: A++
Performance: B

Who's Out: PHIL, with CHRIS R. and SANJAYA in the bottom three.