Idol Tuesday

ah...4 people left means DOUBLE THE SONGS!!!! delicious.

oh, BROTHERS GIBB - this was my favorite night during season 2...Clay sang "To Love Somebody", which was my favorite performance of that season, so this night has plenty of shoes to fill...

1A. Melinda - ohmygodmelindacanyoupickasongSOMEONEknows?!?!?!? i think melinda likes to see how far she can take it in annoying the viewers. this is the freakin' BEEGEES and you pick this song? no one knows this song! i totally agree with simon, it was a backing vocal disguised as a lead. when no one knows the song, you need to carry it even more. girl, do you want to leave?

Song Choice - D
Performance - C-

2A. Blake - methinks Barry Gibb does not like the beatboxing...GEEZ! why does Blake get special microphones with echo????? Paula is standing, but not dancing...she is brainwashed! his beatboxing sounded like stuttering.

gimmick gimmick gimmick.
lay it on thick thick thick.
makes me sick sick sick.

Song Choice - B+
Performance - D

3A. Lakisha - ooh...she did NOT follow the gospel of Gibb! will she be punished for not taking his suggestions? no power! where is the strong Lakisha voice?

I NEED PHIL STACEY!!!

Song Choice - B
Performance - C

4A. Jordin - Finally! some great song choices...can she top Clay? i have such a strong emotional connection with that performance. wow, HUGE praise from Sir Gibb...we shall see...i didn't have the same impression Gibb had. she didn't make the connection i needed, but it was the best so far...

Song Choice - A+
Performance - B+

1B. Melinda - oh, i am so through with your song choices. you obviously don't want to win! you don't want to produce original material! poor choices - i am not into this at all. her voice sounds good, great even, but i am not feeling this material. she needs to sell herself as an ARTIST, not just a singer! i'm not buying it.

Song Choice - C-
Performance - B+

2B. Blake - ohmygod, i LOVE this song!! my friend pete's mom loves the BeeGees and she played this for me in her kitchen and i thought this song was so great. yes, this is what will save Blake, his top-notch original song choices. minus the still-annoying beatboxing, his performance was good! i can't believe i'm saying this. i actually rewinded it! could it just be my love for the song? i don't know, but it fit his style and it sounded like a modern song...wow!

Song Choice - A++ (the extra + is for the great surprise!)
Performance - B+ (that stoopid beatboxing tok him down a peg!)

3B. Lakisha - her voice is strong, but i just can't picture myself listening to it on the radio. i think she could be strong in a show, where you need to understand the lyrics. i can picture it: "The Color Purple, starring Lakisha"...

Song Choice - B
Performance - C+

4B. Jordin - oh, jordin, if you sing "how deep is your love" or "too much heaven", i will fall in love! the barbra song? eh, i guess...man, they should call him Boner Gibb for the way he heaps the praise onto Jordin. she has a VERY slight case of the Sanjiyas - she sounds much better in rehearsal than onstage. i don't know what it is...is she an EXTRAORDINARY ordinary person? or simply a good extraordinary person?

Song Choice - B
Performance - B

Who's going home: Lakisha, second to Melinda (i got a feeling...)

the BONMAN!!!

oh, have i been waiting for this!! JON BON JOVI!!! this is going to be the best idol night yet!

pre-performance thoughts:
- i think phil will sing "always"
- i am excited to see what melinda picks. if it's some stupid song no one knows, but was used in some 90's film soundtrack (no, i don't mean "Blaze of Glory"), she will be forever dead to me!
- beatboxing blake will return...

okay, let's get started!!

- poor bon jovi piano player! no respect!!

1. Phil - I LOVE YOU, PHIL!!!! "Blaze of Glory", awesome!!! so awesome!!! he ditched the hat!! but PHIL - why start in the audience! i don't know why people do this. it doesn't make your song sound better. but he has finally learned to walk and sing without sounding winded. phil is singing to win and it is glorious!!

Randy Jackson played on Blaze of Glory?!?!?! "You were like Steve Perry on a Bon Jovi Song!" - how many names can he mash and drop? Paula is acting like he is leaving tomorrow and apparently Simon agrees.

Song Choice - 5 Bonmans (out of a possible 5)
Performance - 4 1/2 Bonmans (only because he didn't RIP into the song at the end like Bonman does)

DON'T BE COCKY PHIL!!

2. Jordin - hmm..."Livin' on a Prayer"?!? i don't think i'm going to like this rendition..."My mom is going to flip out" - god, can you make the guy sound any older?!?!? Why did Jordin choose THE karaoke song of the ages! Jordin! your hair looks like BUTT. this is like when she sang Pat Benetar - i'm not buying it. she's a strong voice, but when she tries to sing 'tude, it just sounds muddied. i needed to hear GLOCKSON sing this!!! Jordin, you have revealed your Achille's heal...

man, the judges are so obvious - praising her for her mistakes?! jeez, so fake. we know you want her to win, can you sugarcoat it more? Simon, thanks for keeping it real.

Song Choice - 3 Bonmans (too familiar, too hard, should have sang "Always")
Performance - 1 Bonman

3. Lakisha - "This Ain't a Love Song"?!?!? i knew it, Lakisha would pick THE DUD. this song is the 51st most popular Bon Jovi song in iTunes! goodness, "I'll Be There for You"? "Always" (can you tell i love "Always"?) even the shitty "Bed of Roses" would have been better than this stupid song. BOO! i thought she sang it well for someone who learned it that day.

Song Choice - 0 Bonmans
Performance - 3 1/2 Bonmans

4. Blake - what happened to your hair? poop. the dude still can't sing! Bonman, you are a smart smart man. Blake, you look like a douchebag version of Jailhouse Rock. the man hides his paper-thin voice behind flashy clothes and beats. the gimmick train has jumped the tracks - please!! i want off!!

Song Choice - 4 Bonmans
Performance - 1/2 Bonmans (you must appreciate your enemies for the snark they provide you)

HEY!! MY FRIEND LENNON WAS JUST IN THAT MAYTAG COMMERCIAL!!! AMAZING!!

5. Chris - poor poor chris. always going to be compared to blake. for no reason at all. "make it like it's the last"? geez, do you want to ask to go home? Chris, you're a douche - how could you not know "i've seen a million faces...AND I ROCKED THEM ALL!"?!?!?!? the Bonman is showing his doubts. i'm with you, Bonman...i can feel the desperation radiating from his voice...singing too hard, trying too hard. the end picked up, but i don't think it was enough. when paula says "you did your thing", you know you're in trouble.

Song Choice - 4 1/2 Bonmans
Performance - 3 Bonmans

6. Melinda - god help me if you sing a song i've never heard of. "Have a Nice Day"?!?!? geez louise, Melinda, you are such a dork!!!!! she is the Rachael Ray of American Idol. Melinda, you needed to pick a song that THE FANS KNOW. i didn't want "Always" from you, but with Jordin singing so poorly, this was Melinda's chance to clean up, and she just slopped around in it.

Song Choice - 0 Bonmans
Performance - 3 Bonmans

WHO'S GOING? Chris and (sad to say) Phil