i'm baaaaaaack...
it's AMERICAN IDOL Top 12, which means narc.com is back in session!
ideally, i would love to be able to narc 24/7, but my real world has collided with my cyber-world and i must prioritize. but i love me some Top 12, so let's get it started!!!!
1. Syesha - full disclosure: i hate this girl so much. she's so "don't hate me because i'm beautiful and talented." and the mugging - her faces drives me crazy! although i cannot stand her, i must admit she's got a great voice. but, thank goodness, she she still bores me to tears...
"Got to Get You Into My Life" - poor choice, syeeeeeeesh! as randy would say, "pitchy". i am trying to give honest reviews by not forwarding through performances on my DVR, but i was tempted. she looks like she's trying too hard and realizes she lacks a core fanbase. too cheesy!! GRADE: C Performance, D Song Choice
2. Chikeze - are they putting all my dogs together in the front of the show? chikeze showed some mad 'tude in the first week and i have never gotten over it. he is not the next luther vandross, no matter what he's trying to sell me. did he just say he used to "feel people up"? chikeze! couldn't even stop the 'tude for your own mother!!
"She's a Woman" - i'll be honest, i don't know this song...and that might work in his favor. the beginning, i'll admit, was pretty cool. i love me some banjo. why did he choose to rock it out? i am scared that i don't hear too many hoots and hollers from the crowd. those hoots and hollers are the ones who redial and redial...he did better than i thought - which stinks, because i picked him to leave first. his reaction is a little too Cuba Gooding Jr. - be surprised and gracious, please! GRADE: B+ Performance, and i do this begrudgingly, A Song Choice
3. Ramiele (aka "Ramulay", as i remember her name) - what's with all these people talking about their parent's listening to the oldies? i'm old...
"In My Life" - STOP GOING DOWN THE STAIRS, PEOPLE! it doesn't do anyone any favors! i can't believe she dedicated this to the fallen idols - "Some are dead and some are living" - Danny Noriega?!?!? i had high hopes for this girl, but they are fading fast. she bores me. she takes no chances, she has a pretty voice, but i feel like she performs to listen to the sound of her own voice. if you want to hear the voice, just do scales - i need her to take chances. she is wasting her idol chances! and to sing this song the same exact way we've always heard it - BORING!!!! she has a great instrument, but she doesn't want to push it...she needs to push it!!! GRADE: C- Performance, C- Song Choice
4. Jason Castro - this guy seems so jaded. arg, will he play the guitar again??
"If I Fell" - i love this song so much!!!!!! great song choice. he sounds like Enrique Iglesias when he's trying to get into our collective pants. i think Castro brings something different to Idol, but i don't know if it's enough...i don't know if this style will sustain - he needs to prove he can sing! he's a singer meant for earphones, not for the radio. GRADE: B performance, A Song Choice
5. Carly - i dig this girl. i dig her voice. i know she will choose interesting songs and really pound them out. she's not my fave, a little too cold, personality-wise...but her seacrest interview segment warmed her up a bit. hmm, interesting old pic of her...very 4 Non-Blondes.
"Come Together" - interesting to reveal she usually sings this...did she say she usually does this acoustic? that would have been cool. but i like this - she rocked it out and showed off her great voice. i think she still doesn't know how to look at the camera, but i liked it! GRADE: A- Performance, A- Song Choice
6. David Cook - this guy rocks that Gavin DeGraw haircut so hard...too famous now to go Daughtry on his locks. did he just smash a guitar? come on, people - he's not The Who!
"Eleanor Rigby" - what is he wearing? is he a vampire? someone got more wardrobe money and let it go to his neck. he played it like a Gavin Rossdale wannabe up until the chorus - he did really well on that. that is the sweet spot for his voice. i was afraid he would go all "Crow" on me, but he pulled it out and i thoroughly enjoyed it!!! he turned the song into his own - good enough to rewind!! GRADE: A Performance, A Song CHoice
7. Brooke White - she reminds me so much of a friend of mine, in voice and mannerisms. i actually thought she was a relative of my friend...i really dig brooke white.
"Let It Be" - love this song, hope hope hope hope she does it justice. love this song! i don't know what i think about her playing the piano - she needs to pay attention to us! i really dig her voice and think she's doing the song justice, but she isn't giving me anything new, you know? i wonder what the judges will think of this one...i got to give her more props than ramulay because she's not just trying to sell herself as a "vocalist", but more as a "musician". she is genuine. can't fake that. she rocked it the same as Carly - nothing new to the style, but she made a brooke white song. ugh, put your shoes on, woman!GRADE: A-, A+ Song Choice
8. David Hernandez - i get it! i get it! you're a regular dude! you're not a stripper anymore! i get it!
"I Saw Her Standing There" - Beatles 101? He paid good money to learn when "I Saw Her Standing There" was written? eh, i took a class on Disney my freshman year of college, so i can't be too judgmental. but i can judge how friggin' bored i am by sir hernandez. seriously, i dig the beatles mucho, but this song would not have been anywhere on my list. seriously...i am bored to death...i wonder what Amanda will sing??? i finally placed his face - Ray Romano's dare-i-say "sexier" brother??? he and Syesha are the cheese twinsGRADE: C Performance, C- Song Choice
9. Amanda - she did her hair!!! she did her hair!!! she's such a cutie, i wish she didn't border on trainwreck sometimes. wait, is she a nurse or a salesperson? a salesnurse-on.
"You Can't Do That" - she picked a song she never heard before? are you freakin' kidding me???? i thought she would do "Sgt. Pepper's". surprise surprise - she sounds great!!!!! she is rockin' it! i really dig this. weird, it sounds like she had more time than the others for her song...two choruses? that stuff at the end? hey, i'm not complaining - i really really dug it. she made it her own gin-soaked original and thank goodness, someone who is woman enough to keep the lyrics to the original gender of the song (yeah, Syesha, i'm talking to you!!!!!!) bravo, amanda! thank goodness the goods came through on the big stage! good enough to rewind! GRADE: A+ Performance, B+ Song Choice
10. Michael Johns - they want this guy to be Michael Hutchence so bad - being from Austraila does not equal Michael Hutchence!!!
"Across the Universe" - i hope this is good. this guy has been diminishing returns ever since his audition. he sings like he smelled a fart. he rocks looks to the camera, but i'm not buying it for some reasons. the girls in the audience are wooing him for no reason at times. i believe he's safe, but i'm not excited by the song choice or the performance. not masculine enough, not feminine enough, he doesn't have enough charisma for me. i would be impressed if he were my tennis instructor singing like this, but a singer singing like this? this is the much-hyped Michael Johns?!?!?!?!? GRADE: B- Performance, C- Song Choice
11. Kristy Lee Cook - ugh, just get out of here! we get it, you're a country girl, but you're also really sporty and manly. we get it!
"Eight Days a Week" - what? what a dumb choice. too fast! too fast! sounds like a cartoon!! does she consider this taking a chance? we all knew she would do this! eh, at least it was a version i never heard before (yeah, i'm talking to you, Ramulay!) oh my goodness, voting public, please do not Haley Scarnato this woman into the top 7! GRADE: C+ Performance, F Song Choice
ASIDE: RYAN, PLEASE STOP EGGING ON SIMON. PAULA AND RANDY, STOP INTERRUPTING SIMON'S CRITIQUE. IT'S KILLING THE SHOW AND IT MAKES THE CONTESTANTS HAVE TO STAND THERE AWKWARDLY LIKE THEIR WATCHING THEIR PARENTS FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOOD COURT.
as the Beatles via Brooke White say, "sometimes you gotta let it be"!!!!!!
12. Archuleta - aka frontrunner???
"We Can Work It Out" - please don't stick to Stevie Wonder! ugh...you did. unoriginal unoriginal unoriginal.
GET OFF OF THOSE STAIRS, YOU BOOGER! did he forget the words? no, he did not - he did!!!! ugh!!! i think these are the first chinks in his armor - he stinks at this song. i am muy disappointed. yeah, you bet there's a chance you might fall apart before too long! GRADE: F Performance, B- Song Choice, F- Arrangement Choice
Bottom 3: David Hernandez, Chikeze, Kristy Lee Cook
Going Home: KRISTY LEE COOK
ideally, i would love to be able to narc 24/7, but my real world has collided with my cyber-world and i must prioritize. but i love me some Top 12, so let's get it started!!!!
1. Syesha - full disclosure: i hate this girl so much. she's so "don't hate me because i'm beautiful and talented." and the mugging - her faces drives me crazy! although i cannot stand her, i must admit she's got a great voice. but, thank goodness, she she still bores me to tears...
"Got to Get You Into My Life" - poor choice, syeeeeeeesh! as randy would say, "pitchy". i am trying to give honest reviews by not forwarding through performances on my DVR, but i was tempted. she looks like she's trying too hard and realizes she lacks a core fanbase. too cheesy!! GRADE: C Performance, D Song Choice
2. Chikeze - are they putting all my dogs together in the front of the show? chikeze showed some mad 'tude in the first week and i have never gotten over it. he is not the next luther vandross, no matter what he's trying to sell me. did he just say he used to "feel people up"? chikeze! couldn't even stop the 'tude for your own mother!!
"She's a Woman" - i'll be honest, i don't know this song...and that might work in his favor. the beginning, i'll admit, was pretty cool. i love me some banjo. why did he choose to rock it out? i am scared that i don't hear too many hoots and hollers from the crowd. those hoots and hollers are the ones who redial and redial...he did better than i thought - which stinks, because i picked him to leave first. his reaction is a little too Cuba Gooding Jr. - be surprised and gracious, please! GRADE: B+ Performance, and i do this begrudgingly, A Song Choice
3. Ramiele (aka "Ramulay", as i remember her name) - what's with all these people talking about their parent's listening to the oldies? i'm old...
"In My Life" - STOP GOING DOWN THE STAIRS, PEOPLE! it doesn't do anyone any favors! i can't believe she dedicated this to the fallen idols - "Some are dead and some are living" - Danny Noriega?!?!? i had high hopes for this girl, but they are fading fast. she bores me. she takes no chances, she has a pretty voice, but i feel like she performs to listen to the sound of her own voice. if you want to hear the voice, just do scales - i need her to take chances. she is wasting her idol chances! and to sing this song the same exact way we've always heard it - BORING!!!! she has a great instrument, but she doesn't want to push it...she needs to push it!!! GRADE: C- Performance, C- Song Choice
4. Jason Castro - this guy seems so jaded. arg, will he play the guitar again??
"If I Fell" - i love this song so much!!!!!! great song choice. he sounds like Enrique Iglesias when he's trying to get into our collective pants. i think Castro brings something different to Idol, but i don't know if it's enough...i don't know if this style will sustain - he needs to prove he can sing! he's a singer meant for earphones, not for the radio. GRADE: B performance, A Song Choice
5. Carly - i dig this girl. i dig her voice. i know she will choose interesting songs and really pound them out. she's not my fave, a little too cold, personality-wise...but her seacrest interview segment warmed her up a bit. hmm, interesting old pic of her...very 4 Non-Blondes.
"Come Together" - interesting to reveal she usually sings this...did she say she usually does this acoustic? that would have been cool. but i like this - she rocked it out and showed off her great voice. i think she still doesn't know how to look at the camera, but i liked it! GRADE: A- Performance, A- Song Choice
6. David Cook - this guy rocks that Gavin DeGraw haircut so hard...too famous now to go Daughtry on his locks. did he just smash a guitar? come on, people - he's not The Who!
"Eleanor Rigby" - what is he wearing? is he a vampire? someone got more wardrobe money and let it go to his neck. he played it like a Gavin Rossdale wannabe up until the chorus - he did really well on that. that is the sweet spot for his voice. i was afraid he would go all "Crow" on me, but he pulled it out and i thoroughly enjoyed it!!! he turned the song into his own - good enough to rewind!! GRADE: A Performance, A Song CHoice
7. Brooke White - she reminds me so much of a friend of mine, in voice and mannerisms. i actually thought she was a relative of my friend...i really dig brooke white.
"Let It Be" - love this song, hope hope hope hope she does it justice. love this song! i don't know what i think about her playing the piano - she needs to pay attention to us! i really dig her voice and think she's doing the song justice, but she isn't giving me anything new, you know? i wonder what the judges will think of this one...i got to give her more props than ramulay because she's not just trying to sell herself as a "vocalist", but more as a "musician". she is genuine. can't fake that. she rocked it the same as Carly - nothing new to the style, but she made a brooke white song. ugh, put your shoes on, woman!GRADE: A-, A+ Song Choice
8. David Hernandez - i get it! i get it! you're a regular dude! you're not a stripper anymore! i get it!
"I Saw Her Standing There" - Beatles 101? He paid good money to learn when "I Saw Her Standing There" was written? eh, i took a class on Disney my freshman year of college, so i can't be too judgmental. but i can judge how friggin' bored i am by sir hernandez. seriously, i dig the beatles mucho, but this song would not have been anywhere on my list. seriously...i am bored to death...i wonder what Amanda will sing??? i finally placed his face - Ray Romano's dare-i-say "sexier" brother??? he and Syesha are the cheese twinsGRADE: C Performance, C- Song Choice
9. Amanda - she did her hair!!! she did her hair!!! she's such a cutie, i wish she didn't border on trainwreck sometimes. wait, is she a nurse or a salesperson? a salesnurse-on.
"You Can't Do That" - she picked a song she never heard before? are you freakin' kidding me???? i thought she would do "Sgt. Pepper's". surprise surprise - she sounds great!!!!! she is rockin' it! i really dig this. weird, it sounds like she had more time than the others for her song...two choruses? that stuff at the end? hey, i'm not complaining - i really really dug it. she made it her own gin-soaked original and thank goodness, someone who is woman enough to keep the lyrics to the original gender of the song (yeah, Syesha, i'm talking to you!!!!!!) bravo, amanda! thank goodness the goods came through on the big stage! good enough to rewind! GRADE: A+ Performance, B+ Song Choice
10. Michael Johns - they want this guy to be Michael Hutchence so bad - being from Austraila does not equal Michael Hutchence!!!
"Across the Universe" - i hope this is good. this guy has been diminishing returns ever since his audition. he sings like he smelled a fart. he rocks looks to the camera, but i'm not buying it for some reasons. the girls in the audience are wooing him for no reason at times. i believe he's safe, but i'm not excited by the song choice or the performance. not masculine enough, not feminine enough, he doesn't have enough charisma for me. i would be impressed if he were my tennis instructor singing like this, but a singer singing like this? this is the much-hyped Michael Johns?!?!?!?!? GRADE: B- Performance, C- Song Choice
11. Kristy Lee Cook - ugh, just get out of here! we get it, you're a country girl, but you're also really sporty and manly. we get it!
"Eight Days a Week" - what? what a dumb choice. too fast! too fast! sounds like a cartoon!! does she consider this taking a chance? we all knew she would do this! eh, at least it was a version i never heard before (yeah, i'm talking to you, Ramulay!) oh my goodness, voting public, please do not Haley Scarnato this woman into the top 7! GRADE: C+ Performance, F Song Choice
ASIDE: RYAN, PLEASE STOP EGGING ON SIMON. PAULA AND RANDY, STOP INTERRUPTING SIMON'S CRITIQUE. IT'S KILLING THE SHOW AND IT MAKES THE CONTESTANTS HAVE TO STAND THERE AWKWARDLY LIKE THEIR WATCHING THEIR PARENTS FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOOD COURT.
as the Beatles via Brooke White say, "sometimes you gotta let it be"!!!!!!
12. Archuleta - aka frontrunner???
"We Can Work It Out" - please don't stick to Stevie Wonder! ugh...you did. unoriginal unoriginal unoriginal.
GET OFF OF THOSE STAIRS, YOU BOOGER! did he forget the words? no, he did not - he did!!!! ugh!!! i think these are the first chinks in his armor - he stinks at this song. i am muy disappointed. yeah, you bet there's a chance you might fall apart before too long! GRADE: F Performance, B- Song Choice, F- Arrangement Choice
Bottom 3: David Hernandez, Chikeze, Kristy Lee Cook
Going Home: KRISTY LEE COOK
posted by thatrisa at 10:27 PM
6 Comments:
yay! welcome back, you're as snarky as ever!
my picks:
bottom 3:
ramiele, chikezie, kristy lee cook
leaving:
ramiele
Michael Johns has been the biggest disappointment. I had such high hopes for him. My current faves are the Irish chick and the rocker chick.
Its like the mornings are slightly sunnier and the music a little louder - Narc.com comes back.
I only saw the dude who forgot his lyrics, and he stunk it up.
That was me - Brian C.
It wouldn't allow me to leave my name. Or, it was my fault.
Thanks so much for the comments! It's great to be back...
Brian, David Archuleta has been long-touted as the one to beat, so I'm glad you got to see that rare moment of suckitude.
I also dig the Irish chick and the Rocker chick - if I got home in time to vote, they both would have gotten some AT&T love.
As much as I would like to teach Ramiele a lesson, I don't think she'll go home tonight...but if she does end up in the bottom two for whatever reason, I do think she will be gone...
i don't know about you, but i don't think this bunch is as good as previous batches of idol-ers.
daetwan
http://web.mac.com/daetwanwilliams
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