narc.com

sorry!

2008-04-01T23:48:00.002-05:00

i apologize for not posting last week - i perform on tuesday nights, so i actually watch idol when i get home, sometimes very late...last week, i needed to get up earlier that usual, hence no post...

did i miss much? i still have it on my DVR, so i might dust it off for future retroactive blogging. i cannot say i am sad to see chikeze go...that was eze. i am still not rocking syesha and ramulay has completely lost any credit she built for herself in the audition. david cook continues to impress, brooke needs to sound pretty and shut up, and then there's everyone else...at least, to me. but enough about the past...let's talk DOLLY PARTON!!!

who knew Dolly P. wrote 3,000 songs?!?!?!? yikes! she's a regular Rivers Cuomo. She is looking good, and seems super sweet. i predict Kristy Lee will sing "9-5", Syesha will sing "I Will Always Love You", unless Ramulay butchers it, and Archuleta will try to pull out the saddest song in the Parton songbook. let's begin!!!

1. Brooke White - starting off! pretty good...singing "Jolene", the "new classic". eh, i am with Simon. don't quite get the stage picture of Brooke and her posse. it's like when a pretty girl wants to look legit, she busts out that dude with the shaker box (see McPhee, Katharine). i don't really know how well she knows these instruments. whenever she plays anything, i am so fearful that she will completely let her vocals and she sorta did. it's not second nature like David Cook's guitar...i can see Brooke thinking when she's playing and that makes me uncomfortable.

Brooke, shut up!!!! do NOT talk to Paula about her hair, just shut up!!!!!!

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B+

2. David Cook - 'Fess up, David - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!?!?!?!?!? seriously, you are not kidding anyone with that spray hair...this is fascinating - he really can win now, so the have to figure out what the hell to do with him.

"Sparrow"? NEVER heard of this song. man, i know now how Dolly wrote 3,000 songs. they all sound the same! David Cook shows us how it's done. i'm not wild about it, but it sounded like a Dave Cook original. the guy turns things into his own and i think someone out there would buy it...good for Dave Cook!! Brooke, learn from Cook!

Song Choice: B
Performance: A-

3. Ramulay - eh, even Dolly doesn't believe in her! i don't know this song at all...she sounds tired, out of breath. i don't get this lady - does she not know how to control her breath? she's got such great tone, i really had high hopes for her...diminishing returns. it pains me to write about her because she so obviously is not going to win.

Song Choice: B
Performance:C+

4. Jason - i'm kinda sick of this guy...too aloof. but Dolly is so in love with this dude!

"Traveling Through" - i don't know any Dolly Parton songs! it's me, i believe. sounds pretty good. i think he made a smart choice. this type of hippy-dippy shit is his sweet spot. he owns that laid-back nature...a pleasant surprise.

Song Choice: A
Performance: A-

5. Carly - finally, a song i know! it sounds like she is changing up the tempo - i am digging it already, but perhaps that's because i know this. hmm...was she supposed to rock out on that one note? it sorta sonded like a chicken out halfway through...ah, but she busts a big note out in the end. i liked it, dude!

ugh, stop it Paula and Randy - you guys stink up the room.

Song Choice: A+
Performance: A

6. Archuleta - geez, how old are you, man! old man!! another moody ballad. seriously, he needs to get out of the dregs. one trick pony, dude...getting old, almost older than you!

somewhere, this boy's urge to try disappeared...this song sounds like "Desperado". although, i must admit, the shit sounds good!!

Song Choice: A (i can't believe it, either!)
Performance: A

7. Kristy Lee - i'm getting bored...i don't think that Dolly has written enough songs for me to keep interest...not satisfied with 3,000!

this girl keeps getting lucky with the genres...she sounds good because it's country, but i still see emptiness in the eyes - the girl could not keep my interest!

Song Choice: B
Performance:B

8.Syesha - called it! that Syesha loves those unrequited love songs, don't she?? she's not Whitney, and that hurts anyone who sings a Whitney song. i do think that she did a good job considering, but who dare tackles the beast!

i just hate her so.

Song Choice: C
Performance: B+

9. Michael Johns - i didn't realize we were dressing so formally for dinner! he looks cheesy to the max and still sings as if he smelled a fart. ah, play to the audience - mentioning the word "sexy" in this audience is enough to freak out the 'tweens...i think that this guy is the "soul guy" because there's no one else. but he's definitely not a vocal great. it's getting better, but i don't know, i'm not convinced that he can go the distance.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B+

deja vudoo

2008-03-18T22:42:00.002-05:00

Lennon/McCartney again?!?!? seriously, this well has been tapped dry, methinks. why more of the same? will we see the same results as last week? popular demand - i certainly did not demand any of this...alas, all i can do is watch, and judge.

it's tough to watch the full show so late, so i apologize for the shortness of this blog in particular...

1. Amanda - i totally dug her last week and think she is a breath of fresh air, although sometimes she completely misses the mark...i am hoping she does well...

"Back in the U.S.S.R." - i was hoping she would sing this song! i think there are not many songs that suit her style and this is one of them. hmm, i don't like this very much. the key is a little off, like she isn't singing in her sweet spot. she's someone who i was slightly worried about in terms of singing a second Beatles song. i've seen better and i've certainly seen worse from her, but i'm sorry that this was right in the middle.

Song Choice: A
Performance: C

2. Kristy Lee Cook - eh, i'm tired of her.

"You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" - she picked this from the title?!?!?!? what's with these people - are they completely sequestered away from any music? people, this is the freakin' Beatles!

KLC looks like Kate Bosworth and is just as exciting to me. she sings this song like she's never heard it before and i need her to go go go go go.

Song Choice: C-
Performance: C-

3. David Archuleta - i hope he feels vulnerable after last week's complete flameout! you need to earn this, Archuleta!!!!!

"The Long and Winding Road" - Zzzzzzzzzzzz...i don't need to see another sad sad song from the Archman. hmm...very obvious earpiece - perhaps someone is feeding the lyrics into his ear? great voice, one trick...but the ladies love it! LL Cool Dave

Song Choice: B-
Performance: B

4. Michael Johns - bring back the spark, please! the spark! i remember you had a good voice and people like you...you need to bring it back, Michael Johns!

"A Day in the Life" - risky! i love it! i am very excited that he chose this song, work it out, Michael Johns! couldn't hit the high notes...hmm...he has got to stop rocking that mike like Mike Hutchence - it is getting uncanny. this guy cannot hold long notes. and, if you saw the results show last week, he sweats like crazy...and he's a tennis player? i don't believe him!

Song Choice: A
Performance: C

5. Brooke - you got to go home?!? is this fair? hmm...i don't know if i should judge her harder or easier...

"Here Comes the Sun" - i love this song...i guess it's not Lennon/McCartney exclusively..."Woo!" - what the eff was that? i think she realizes she only has one note...she needs a song with a little more meat to it. this was the same line over and over again...i was hoping for more from Brooke White...ah, at least i know KLC is going home.

why was she talking so much? she's not their bud, she's a contestant...stop talking, lady! STOP TALKING.

Song Choice: B-
Performance: B

6. David Cook - what next from David Cook?? please don't fall into Brooke's trap of a bad 2nd song...

"Daytripper" - eh, i couldn't give two shits about this song, to be honest. but i'm intrigued by anyone who would cover a Whitesnake version of anything. is that a Frampton weirdo mike next to him? even more intrigued. i'm glad he thinned the sides of his combover. a little more tolerable.

he's got the chops, but i don't like him as much this week as last week.

Song Choice: C
Performance: B+

7. Carly - i got nothing to say about her!

"Blackbird" - i'm glad someone chose this...i think this will provide nice contrast to her last performance...what is she wearing?!?!?!?!?!? she is dressing like Ann Wilson without the Ann Wilson bod! when she took it up the octave, that's when the song finally started to COOK! i dug it by the end, but it took a while.

Song Choice: A
Performance: A-

no one is setting me on fire tonight - i think everyone feels stale from the Beatles redux. what is with all the backtalk from these contestants???

8. Jason Castro - his hair is too distracting. and he's a little bit of a bimbo.

"Michelle" - it's all right...i don't totally dig this guy. and i certainly don't get that shirt he's wearing. but he will go far, because ladies love him, too. LL Cool Dreadhead. he just walks through these songs and i guess that's charming, but i don't buy it.

Song Choice: C+
Performance: C-

9. Syesha - i'm so sick of you still! ugh, stop talking about your voice, fool! "Can you believe that I, Syesha Mercado, was in the bottom three?!?!?!?!? Crazy!" she's so freakin' full of herself.

"Yesterday" - can you not go through a song without changing the gender????? you are so annoying, Syesha. it wasn't as horrible as i wished it was, because i do not want her on my television set anymore.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B-

10. Chikeze - i don't like him very much. he also seems like a bimbo.

"I've Just Seen a Face" - i never heard this song either...it sounds more like Wings than Beatles. is he trying to take the reins from Kristy Lee Cook? what's with the country dipping AGAIN. what a specialized one-trick pony to pony. "I'm Chikeze, the half-country version-half regular version of an unknown song guy!"

Song Choice:C
Performance: C+

11. Ramulay - i think she actually used her pre-song the best...i could just picture Brooke and David Cook tucking her in at night...

"I Should Have Known Better" - i really like this song, but was anxious about how it would sound...i think she sounds great!!!!! i can actually tell she has a nice voice, and that there's a personality behind it. of course, it's an incredibly young personality, but i dig it. since David Archuleta insists on singing like an old man, we need someone to bring the youth!

Song Choice: B-
Performance: A-

ugh, too hard to figure out who is going to go home this week!!! Beatles, Part II was a bust!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bottom 3: Amanda, Kristy Lee, Chikeze
Going Home: Amanda (i know, i'm shocked, too!)

i'm baaaaaaack...

2008-03-11T22:27:00.006-05:00

it's AMERICAN IDOL Top 12, which means narc.com is back in session!

ideally, i would love to be able to narc 24/7, but my real world has collided with my cyber-world and i must prioritize. but i love me some Top 12, so let's get it started!!!!

1. Syesha - full disclosure: i hate this girl so much. she's so "don't hate me because i'm beautiful and talented." and the mugging - her faces drives me crazy! although i cannot stand her, i must admit she's got a great voice. but, thank goodness, she she still bores me to tears...

"Got to Get You Into My Life" - poor choice, syeeeeeeesh! as randy would say, "pitchy". i am trying to give honest reviews by not forwarding through performances on my DVR, but i was tempted. she looks like she's trying too hard and realizes she lacks a core fanbase. too cheesy!! GRADE: C Performance, D Song Choice

2. Chikeze - are they putting all my dogs together in the front of the show? chikeze showed some mad 'tude in the first week and i have never gotten over it. he is not the next luther vandross, no matter what he's trying to sell me. did he just say he used to "feel people up"? chikeze! couldn't even stop the 'tude for your own mother!!

"She's a Woman" - i'll be honest, i don't know this song...and that might work in his favor. the beginning, i'll admit, was pretty cool. i love me some banjo. why did he choose to rock it out? i am scared that i don't hear too many hoots and hollers from the crowd. those hoots and hollers are the ones who redial and redial...he did better than i thought - which stinks, because i picked him to leave first. his reaction is a little too Cuba Gooding Jr. - be surprised and gracious, please! GRADE: B+ Performance, and i do this begrudgingly, A Song Choice

3. Ramiele (aka "Ramulay", as i remember her name) - what's with all these people talking about their parent's listening to the oldies? i'm old...

"In My Life" - STOP GOING DOWN THE STAIRS, PEOPLE! it doesn't do anyone any favors! i can't believe she dedicated this to the fallen idols - "Some are dead and some are living" - Danny Noriega?!?!? i had high hopes for this girl, but they are fading fast. she bores me. she takes no chances, she has a pretty voice, but i feel like she performs to listen to the sound of her own voice. if you want to hear the voice, just do scales - i need her to take chances. she is wasting her idol chances! and to sing this song the same exact way we've always heard it - BORING!!!! she has a great instrument, but she doesn't want to push it...she needs to push it!!! GRADE: C- Performance, C- Song Choice

4. Jason Castro - this guy seems so jaded. arg, will he play the guitar again??

"If I Fell" - i love this song so much!!!!!! great song choice. he sounds like Enrique Iglesias when he's trying to get into our collective pants. i think Castro brings something different to Idol, but i don't know if it's enough...i don't know if this style will sustain - he needs to prove he can sing! he's a singer meant for earphones, not for the radio. GRADE: B performance, A Song Choice

5. Carly - i dig this girl. i dig her voice. i know she will choose interesting songs and really pound them out. she's not my fave, a little too cold, personality-wise...but her seacrest interview segment warmed her up a bit. hmm, interesting old pic of her...very 4 Non-Blondes.

"Come Together" - interesting to reveal she usually sings this...did she say she usually does this acoustic? that would have been cool. but i like this - she rocked it out and showed off her great voice. i think she still doesn't know how to look at the camera, but i liked it! GRADE: A- Performance, A- Song Choice

6. David Cook - this guy rocks that Gavin DeGraw haircut so hard...too famous now to go Daughtry on his locks. did he just smash a guitar? come on, people - he's not The Who!

"Eleanor Rigby" - what is he wearing? is he a vampire? someone got more wardrobe money and let it go to his neck. he played it like a Gavin Rossdale wannabe up until the chorus - he did really well on that. that is the sweet spot for his voice. i was afraid he would go all "Crow" on me, but he pulled it out and i thoroughly enjoyed it!!! he turned the song into his own - good enough to rewind!! GRADE: A Performance, A Song CHoice

7. Brooke White - she reminds me so much of a friend of mine, in voice and mannerisms. i actually thought she was a relative of my friend...i really dig brooke white.

"Let It Be" - love this song, hope hope hope hope she does it justice. love this song! i don't know what i think about her playing the piano - she needs to pay attention to us! i really dig her voice and think she's doing the song justice, but she isn't giving me anything new, you know? i wonder what the judges will think of this one...i got to give her more props than ramulay because she's not just trying to sell herself as a "vocalist", but more as a "musician". she is genuine. can't fake that. she rocked it the same as Carly - nothing new to the style, but she made a brooke white song. ugh, put your shoes on, woman!GRADE: A-, A+ Song Choice

8. David Hernandez - i get it! i get it! you're a regular dude! you're not a stripper anymore! i get it!

"I Saw Her Standing There" - Beatles 101? He paid good money to learn when "I Saw Her Standing There" was written? eh, i took a class on Disney my freshman year of college, so i can't be too judgmental. but i can judge how friggin' bored i am by sir hernandez. seriously, i dig the beatles mucho, but this song would not have been anywhere on my list. seriously...i am bored to death...i wonder what Amanda will sing??? i finally placed his face - Ray Romano's dare-i-say "sexier" brother??? he and Syesha are the cheese twinsGRADE: C Performance, C- Song Choice

9. Amanda - she did her hair!!! she did her hair!!! she's such a cutie, i wish she didn't border on trainwreck sometimes. wait, is she a nurse or a salesperson? a salesnurse-on.

"You Can't Do That" - she picked a song she never heard before? are you freakin' kidding me???? i thought she would do "Sgt. Pepper's". surprise surprise - she sounds great!!!!! she is rockin' it! i really dig this. weird, it sounds like she had more time than the others for her song...two choruses? that stuff at the end? hey, i'm not complaining - i really really dug it. she made it her own gin-soaked original and thank goodness, someone who is woman enough to keep the lyrics to the original gender of the song (yeah, Syesha, i'm talking to you!!!!!!) bravo, amanda! thank goodness the goods came through on the big stage! good enough to rewind! GRADE: A+ Performance, B+ Song Choice

10. Michael Johns - they want this guy to be Michael Hutchence so bad - being from Austraila does not equal Michael Hutchence!!!

"Across the Universe" - i hope this is good. this guy has been diminishing returns ever since his audition. he sings like he smelled a fart. he rocks looks to the camera, but i'm not buying it for some reasons. the girls in the audience are wooing him for no reason at times. i believe he's safe, but i'm not excited by the song choice or the performance. not masculine enough, not feminine enough, he doesn't have enough charisma for me. i would be impressed if he were my tennis instructor singing like this, but a singer singing like this? this is the much-hyped Michael Johns?!?!?!?!? GRADE: B- Performance, C- Song Choice

11. Kristy Lee Cook - ugh, just get out of here! we get it, you're a country girl, but you're also really sporty and manly. we get it!

"Eight Days a Week" - what? what a dumb choice. too fast! too fast! sounds like a cartoon!! does she consider this taking a chance? we all knew she would do this! eh, at least it was a version i never heard before (yeah, i'm talking to you, Ramulay!) oh my goodness, voting public, please do not Haley Scarnato this woman into the top 7! GRADE: C+ Performance, F Song Choice

ASIDE: RYAN, PLEASE STOP EGGING ON SIMON. PAULA AND RANDY, STOP INTERRUPTING SIMON'S CRITIQUE. IT'S KILLING THE SHOW AND IT MAKES THE CONTESTANTS HAVE TO STAND THERE AWKWARDLY LIKE THEIR WATCHING THEIR PARENTS FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOOD COURT.

as the Beatles via Brooke White say, "sometimes you gotta let it be"!!!!!!

12. Archuleta - aka frontrunner???

"We Can Work It Out" - please don't stick to Stevie Wonder! ugh...you did. unoriginal unoriginal unoriginal.

GET OFF OF THOSE STAIRS, YOU BOOGER! did he forget the words? no, he did not - he did!!!! ugh!!! i think these are the first chinks in his armor - he stinks at this song. i am muy disappointed. yeah, you bet there's a chance you might fall apart before too long! GRADE: F Performance, B- Song Choice, F- Arrangement Choice

Bottom 3: David Hernandez, Chikeze, Kristy Lee Cook
Going Home: KRISTY LEE COOK

Idol Tuesday

2007-05-08T22:55:00.000-05:00

ah...4 people left means DOUBLE THE SONGS!!!! delicious.

oh, BROTHERS GIBB - this was my favorite night during season 2...Clay sang "To Love Somebody", which was my favorite performance of that season, so this night has plenty of shoes to fill...

1A. Melinda - ohmygodmelindacanyoupickasongSOMEONEknows?!?!?!? i think melinda likes to see how far she can take it in annoying the viewers. this is the freakin' BEEGEES and you pick this song? no one knows this song! i totally agree with simon, it was a backing vocal disguised as a lead. when no one knows the song, you need to carry it even more. girl, do you want to leave?

Song Choice - D
Performance - C-

2A. Blake - methinks Barry Gibb does not like the beatboxing...GEEZ! why does Blake get special microphones with echo????? Paula is standing, but not dancing...she is brainwashed! his beatboxing sounded like stuttering.

gimmick gimmick gimmick.
lay it on thick thick thick.
makes me sick sick sick.

Song Choice - B+
Performance - D

3A. Lakisha - ooh...she did NOT follow the gospel of Gibb! will she be punished for not taking his suggestions? no power! where is the strong Lakisha voice?

I NEED PHIL STACEY!!!

Song Choice - B
Performance - C

4A. Jordin - Finally! some great song choices...can she top Clay? i have such a strong emotional connection with that performance. wow, HUGE praise from Sir Gibb...we shall see...i didn't have the same impression Gibb had. she didn't make the connection i needed, but it was the best so far...

Song Choice - A+
Performance - B+

1B. Melinda - oh, i am so through with your song choices. you obviously don't want to win! you don't want to produce original material! poor choices - i am not into this at all. her voice sounds good, great even, but i am not feeling this material. she needs to sell herself as an ARTIST, not just a singer! i'm not buying it.

Song Choice - C-
Performance - B+

2B. Blake - ohmygod, i LOVE this song!! my friend pete's mom loves the BeeGees and she played this for me in her kitchen and i thought this song was so great. yes, this is what will save Blake, his top-notch original song choices. minus the still-annoying beatboxing, his performance was good! i can't believe i'm saying this. i actually rewinded it! could it just be my love for the song? i don't know, but it fit his style and it sounded like a modern song...wow!

Song Choice - A++ (the extra + is for the great surprise!)
Performance - B+ (that stoopid beatboxing tok him down a peg!)

3B. Lakisha - her voice is strong, but i just can't picture myself listening to it on the radio. i think she could be strong in a show, where you need to understand the lyrics. i can picture it: "The Color Purple, starring Lakisha"...

Song Choice - B
Performance - C+

4B. Jordin - oh, jordin, if you sing "how deep is your love" or "too much heaven", i will fall in love! the barbra song? eh, i guess...man, they should call him Boner Gibb for the way he heaps the praise onto Jordin. she has a VERY slight case of the Sanjiyas - she sounds much better in rehearsal than onstage. i don't know what it is...is she an EXTRAORDINARY ordinary person? or simply a good extraordinary person?

Song Choice - B
Performance - B

Who's going home: Lakisha, second to Melinda (i got a feeling...)

the BONMAN!!!

2007-05-01T22:36:00.000-05:00

oh, have i been waiting for this!! JON BON JOVI!!! this is going to be the best idol night yet!

pre-performance thoughts:
- i think phil will sing "always"
- i am excited to see what melinda picks. if it's some stupid song no one knows, but was used in some 90's film soundtrack (no, i don't mean "Blaze of Glory"), she will be forever dead to me!
- beatboxing blake will return...

okay, let's get started!!

- poor bon jovi piano player! no respect!!

1. Phil - I LOVE YOU, PHIL!!!! "Blaze of Glory", awesome!!! so awesome!!! he ditched the hat!! but PHIL - why start in the audience! i don't know why people do this. it doesn't make your song sound better. but he has finally learned to walk and sing without sounding winded. phil is singing to win and it is glorious!!

Randy Jackson played on Blaze of Glory?!?!?! "You were like Steve Perry on a Bon Jovi Song!" - how many names can he mash and drop? Paula is acting like he is leaving tomorrow and apparently Simon agrees.

Song Choice - 5 Bonmans (out of a possible 5)
Performance - 4 1/2 Bonmans (only because he didn't RIP into the song at the end like Bonman does)

DON'T BE COCKY PHIL!!

2. Jordin - hmm..."Livin' on a Prayer"?!? i don't think i'm going to like this rendition..."My mom is going to flip out" - god, can you make the guy sound any older?!?!? Why did Jordin choose THE karaoke song of the ages! Jordin! your hair looks like BUTT. this is like when she sang Pat Benetar - i'm not buying it. she's a strong voice, but when she tries to sing 'tude, it just sounds muddied. i needed to hear GLOCKSON sing this!!! Jordin, you have revealed your Achille's heal...

man, the judges are so obvious - praising her for her mistakes?! jeez, so fake. we know you want her to win, can you sugarcoat it more? Simon, thanks for keeping it real.

Song Choice - 3 Bonmans (too familiar, too hard, should have sang "Always")
Performance - 1 Bonman

3. Lakisha - "This Ain't a Love Song"?!?!? i knew it, Lakisha would pick THE DUD. this song is the 51st most popular Bon Jovi song in iTunes! goodness, "I'll Be There for You"? "Always" (can you tell i love "Always"?) even the shitty "Bed of Roses" would have been better than this stupid song. BOO! i thought she sang it well for someone who learned it that day.

Song Choice - 0 Bonmans
Performance - 3 1/2 Bonmans

4. Blake - what happened to your hair? poop. the dude still can't sing! Bonman, you are a smart smart man. Blake, you look like a douchebag version of Jailhouse Rock. the man hides his paper-thin voice behind flashy clothes and beats. the gimmick train has jumped the tracks - please!! i want off!!

Song Choice - 4 Bonmans
Performance - 1/2 Bonmans (you must appreciate your enemies for the snark they provide you)

HEY!! MY FRIEND LENNON WAS JUST IN THAT MAYTAG COMMERCIAL!!! AMAZING!!

5. Chris - poor poor chris. always going to be compared to blake. for no reason at all. "make it like it's the last"? geez, do you want to ask to go home? Chris, you're a douche - how could you not know "i've seen a million faces...AND I ROCKED THEM ALL!"?!?!?!? the Bonman is showing his doubts. i'm with you, Bonman...i can feel the desperation radiating from his voice...singing too hard, trying too hard. the end picked up, but i don't think it was enough. when paula says "you did your thing", you know you're in trouble.

Song Choice - 4 1/2 Bonmans
Performance - 3 Bonmans

6. Melinda - god help me if you sing a song i've never heard of. "Have a Nice Day"?!?!? geez louise, Melinda, you are such a dork!!!!! she is the Rachael Ray of American Idol. Melinda, you needed to pick a song that THE FANS KNOW. i didn't want "Always" from you, but with Jordin singing so poorly, this was Melinda's chance to clean up, and she just slopped around in it.

Song Choice - 0 Bonmans
Performance - 3 Bonmans

WHO'S GOING? Chris and (sad to say) Phil

Idol Tuesday

2007-04-24T23:34:00.001-05:00

Charity! Sweet Charity! i don't feel sincerity in Idols Give Back, but am excited at the amount of scratch they will raise. the theme tonight is inspirational songs...which can either be filled with awesome chord progressions or some funky ass cheese.

i think it might be harder to be snarky at this point because to be in the top 6...you must be doing something right. but i'll see if i can find any little thing to rip them apart over.

1. Chris R - good song choice. i can't believe he used the same guitar guy that messed up twice for him, but he didn't mess up tonight. as for Chris...eh...i think his voice is a little young for the song, but he didn't go cah-ra-zy with the runs, which is nice. i don't necessarily go as wild as Randy or even Simon, but i think he didn't completely shoot himself in the foot.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B+

2. Melinda - FINALLY acting her age!! i love it! first off, do NOT change your hairstyle. this is the one to keep. i think she sounded great and the song, even though i've never heard of it, did catch on me. the critiques are spot on - she was great!!

Song Choice: A
Performance: A

ugh...is blake doing imagine??

3. Blake - zzzzzzzzzzzzz...this boy cannot sing, people! get it through your head! this vocal was so weak-ass weak. yeah, yeah, yeah, john lennon didn't blast this song out when he sang it, but we also knew his voice was capable of "twist and shout". blake is not capable! ugh, paula, don't drink the kool-aid, he wasn't sensitive and soft because that's what he wanted, but because he couldn't sing it any stronger!

i am curious to see how Phil would have attacked that song.

Song Choice: A
Performance: B-

4. Lakisha - is it cheesy to say i LOVE this song?? we'll see how it is. Fantasia BUSTS this song out, how will Lakisha hold up? eh, not really...her voice is strong, but it's unruly - she needs honest to goodness TRAINING. it's an instrument and she can't keep it on full blast the whole time.

Song Choice: A+
Performance: C+

5. Phil - DITCH THE HAT!!! sounds pretty good, a little overdone. the man bores me at this point. man, he knows he's not winning so he just wants to win the Bucky Covington consolation country contract. i think he's safe to get a record deal (i mean, William Hung did).

Song Choice: ?
Performance: $

6. Jordin - she's singing CAROUSEL!!! i was in this show in high school, so i have a very soft spot for anything from this show. cheesy-ass ending to the song, but it sounded strong...not the BEST jordin performance, but it will do. i see a jordin/melinda finale.

Song Choice: !
Performance: A

Idol Tuesday

2007-04-24T23:34:00.000-05:00

Idol Tuesday

2007-04-17T22:05:00.000-05:00

Martina McBride brings some country to Idol country. she's a little boring, and it looks like she doesn't like ANYTHING, but we'll see how our idols fare...

1. Phil - geez! beg much? he should have sung "Desperado", he's so desperado for a post-idol career (which begins tomorrow night, by the way). i worry for him tonight. i was wrong last week about him getting the boot, but i really feel it for tomorrow. the judge's comments were too good!

Song Choice: B+ (i'll give him the benefit of the doubt, since i don't know Mr. Kidman's music)
Performance: B+

2. Jordan - what a songbird!! great song choice, great performance, although i thought that it took a little too long to build up to the real juice...isn't this the song that pickler impressed the judges with at her audition? it's all i heard in the idol previews (THAT was an incorrect prediction)...anyways, kudos - jordan shows sparks, and i actually thought of that before realizing her last name was sparks.

Song Choice: A
Performance: A

3. Sanjaya - "well, everyone is talking about me already, blahblahblah..." uh-oh, sanjaya's drunken the kool-aid and really believes he can win this thing. in fact, he's stopped trying! great song choice, horrid performance!! the boy doesn't give two poops, it seems, because the vote is locked in...now exciting anymore! sanjaya has reached his saturation point!!

Song Choice: A+
Performance: poop

4. Lakisha - Underwood, YES!!!!!! wonderful wonderful choice. good thing, because Lakisha is slipping from people's radar. a pretty good performance, but i am always expecting to say "pretty great" and i can't. her voice is so thick and powerful, it swallows songs. hmm...i don't feel good this week.

Song Choice: A++
Performance: B

5. Chris R. - eh...what?!?!? bad song choice, Chris R. Chris put the flatts in Rascal Flatts. the song isn't bad, but i don't know it, and it has way too many different pieces for me to learn it and sing it back. and that's what you need for a memorable idol performance. did the violin mess up? is this the SECOND time an instrument failed on chris? he must poop in the band pit before tapings.

Song Choice: D
Performance: C

PS. Chris, DON'T FIGHT WITH SIMON!!! CHRIS, DON'T MENTION VIRGINIA TECH!!!!!!!!!! cheap cheap cheap. geez, chris is trying to scrape votes in the most desperado way. we have a new phil on our hands!!!!!

by the way, WHERE ARE THE DIXIE CHICKS?!?!!??! don't people know what songs to sing? i'm holding out for (please!) blake!

6. Melinda - nice hair! "Trouble is a woman" - finally, a brand new song...from 1999. it seems like she did what Simon wanted Lakisha to do with her song, infuse her own vocal style into the song. Melinda makes every song age like a fine wine. old old old, but solid.

Song Choice: A-
Performance: A

7. Blake - GREAT song choice - i was only familiar with The Corrs/Bono version. smart to cut to the chase right away (Jordan, learn how to cut a song from this guy). but i still don't see how people can't see that THIS GUY CAN'T SING. he is riding the strong, steady wave of amazing song choices, but he doesn't have the chops to hold it up. do not promote this guy to the top two. or do so, knowing that when they have to sing original material, that he is going to sink like a stone!!! when paula mentioned that blake was the "whole package", i think she was a little too focused on his "whole package".

Song: A++
Performance: B

Who's Out: PHIL, with CHRIS R. and SANJAYA in the bottom three.

Idol Tuesday...

2007-04-10T22:54:00.000-05:00

American Idol Tuesday with special guest coach JLo...eh, latin night never does it for me, so i am not expecting much from this gang. here are my thoughts...

1. hey, is that Mickey Dolenz in the audience?!?!?

2. Melinda - arg...Melinda, stop being so damn old! Dolittle is doinglittle to impress me. she sounded quite old...of course, her voice was good, but not very exciting. glad to see simon finally tire of her same old shtick. maybe this will light a fire under her to try something new...she sounds even older than Taylor Hicks - there is something wrong with this!
Song Choice: C-
Performance: B

3. Lakisha - lakisha was swallowed by the cleavage monster! i was surprised and excited about her choice of conga. i don't know why these people think they can walk and sing at the same time. she showed no range in the song... i need to hear her sing in the upper register more!
Song Choice: B+
Performance: B

4. Chris R. - stop the vocal runs!! i am sick of them! stop it! of course, choosing "Smooth" was first-rate. but it didn't sound as manly as rob thomas. and you know there's something wrong with that!!
Song Choice: A
Performance: B+

5. Haley - sneaky minx to pull Blake into her video segment...nope, people still remember that it's Haley. actually, Gina was going to sing "Turn the Beat Around" if she hadn't been eliminated. it probably would have been just as trainwrecky, but at least it wouldn't have been so phony, shiny and sleazy. i can see it now in idol concerts all over the country: "Now, Haley Scarnato!" [shuffling masses of people going to the snack bar] simon, stop paying so much attention to her - she doesn't deserve the attention! arg, her screentime is going to lead to phil's downfall!!!!!
Song Choice: B+
Performance: D
CORRECTION: Gina wasn't going to sing "Turn the Beat Around", she was going to sing "Everlasting Love", that other Estefan Latin hit.

6. Phil - another Santana song from the 00's? this song stinks. arg, take that ridiculous hat off, phil. actually...his voice songs pretty good in this song, despite having vocal diarrhaea (too many runs). whoa! santana guitar wannabe messed up! fire his ass! he's just like gina...takes notes pretty well, but is a layer behind the front-runners. ugh, stop pandering to the audience phil...ugh, you're not josh gracin! stop buttkissing to the audience. you were not in iraq - i am not buying this!!!
Song Choice: C
Performance: B

7. Jordin - she's pretty dorky. and her makeup artist gives her the evil eyebrow. she did make this song her own, which is a good thing because i can't stand this song. an original performance - i would put my money on her to win it all...she is the one who is taking this competition by the horns and shape-shifting every week.
Song Choice: B
Performance: A-

8. Blake - you cannot sing this song! i would love to look at your throat during this song, no range!! this is an excellent choice for song. someone wants blake to go all the way because he got a different microphone, complete with echo, than the other contestants. i STILL don't get the blake! this song vastly improved over its course, but do i want to hear him on the radio? with original material? hell no!
Song Choice: A+
Performance: B+

9. Sanjayjay - did he draw on a mustache?!?!?!? GREAT song choice, a classic with real soul. LOUDER, SANJIYA! LOUDER!!!!!! he looks like one of the musketeers. does no one tell this boy how to project?!?!? he CANNOT practice without a mic. we know he has a sweet voice, but i cannot hear him!!! sanjiya, shave that thing!
Song Choice: A
Performance: he will not get kicked off

i predict PHIL to go home, with HALEY and CHRIS R. in the bottom 3.

well, whaddayaknow?

2007-04-02T19:48:00.000-05:00

i'm on imdb!

i interned on The Charlie Rose Show for two years and i am finally reaping the big fat rewards!

check out my entry! make my Starmeter RISE!!!!!!

Bye Bye, Sligh!

2007-03-28T23:53:00.000-05:00

so, it is Chris S., not Chris R., who said goodbye tonight...interesting. i am not sad to see him go. early on, around the time the top 12 was established, he was quoted in a mag talking about how he was looking forward to performing his own compositions in "the top 3". excuse me? i think that i have more to do with your going to the top 3 than you, sir!

truth be told, his voice wasn't worth his 'tude. and the dude was never serious. i'm not saying you need to be morose or a snooze, but could you at least be sincere??

eh, no need to discuss further - going home! i love that daughtry song, by the way - is that bad? it's funny, when the top 24 people left, they left in the lyric about "be careful what you wish for". i guess that was too negative.

Bye bye Goil!!! Goil got the boot from Top Design today (or rather, months and months ago)...since he is Thai, Goil was my fave. i was sad to see him go, but i figured it was time. the pressure was getting to him and he had trouble finishing his room this week.

does anyone watch this show? i'm probably way in the minority, but i prefer the top shows (design and chef) to project runway...i am probably the only one who does. but i will NOT watch Shear Genius. yef, feh...

re-entering the blogging pool slooooooowly...

don't call it a comeback...

2007-03-27T23:55:00.000-05:00

because of my naked position at the day job, it is impossible to post to narc from work, but after watching idol tonight, i realized that MY VOICE MUST BE HEARD!!!!

i am so glad to see Gwen "slumming it" for idol. i thought she had great notes and looked awesome - the there-not-there lipstick is hot, ladies.

my thoughts on tonight's performances:

1. Lakisha, aka "Shaq" - i know she's got the voice, but she doesn't do it for me anymore. it doesn't look like she's enjoying herself up there. she kinda seems genderless to me.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B

2. Chris S. - i'm over this dude. he always has tempo problems and he acted like it was the first time someone made a note of it. Gwen told it like it was and it hurt! also, he is treading back from his initial cockiness, but it, to quote Jojo, "to little too late". smart move to ca$h in on the police comeback.

Song Choice: B+
Performance: B-

3. Gina - awesome job!! i wanted her to sing something with edge (i personally was hoping for "Voices Carry" by 'Til Tuesday), but i will take the Pretenders any day of the week. and great that she stood still! i don't think Gina has the best voice, but she takes the notes and improves every week. it definitely looks like she has been working for this for a long time. now, if only she would stop dressing like Wet Seal...

Song Choice: A
Performance: A

4. Sanjayjay! this guy is utterly ridiculous. first off, don't try to impress queen Gwen by effing up one of her songs. "Bathwater" is my brother-in-law's fave No Doubt song and he butchered it the only way Sanjaya could. the mohawk, this guy is a fashion tramp and he knows he is squeaking votes out of the little kiddies. Ladies, Sanjaya will never be your boyfriend. spend your votes elsewhere.

of course he's not going home this week.

Song Choice: C (because he obviously didn't know it)
Performance: Q!

5. Haley - i knew someone was busting out the Cyndi Lauper. i wish Brandon hadn't wasted (and i mean wasted) "Time After Time" during the semis because i love love love that song. that, and "All Through the Night". Gwen was spot on. Haley has a good voice. i just don't think she has good taste. there's only room for one Shania Twain. time to moveon.org.

Song Choice: A-
Performance: C+

6. Phil - another Police song? how did he and Chris S. both end up sounding like Sting? good job, Phil. it's a shame you're such a cheesy cheesy dude. you have got to tone it down. cheesy.

Song Choice: A-
Performance: B+

7. Melinda - you're killing me, Melinda. how old are you? your performances are turning into granny panties. no risks! yes, this wasn't a torch song, so that is a step up, but the theme of the week was POP. POP!!! you don't act like the front runner...i am getting less and less excited from week to week because i know you will pick something safe...geez, if you're gonna go old, please sing Anita Baker like you're supposed to and be done with it!

Song Choice: D
Performance: B+ (girl still got the pipes)

8. Blake - can this guy sing? no, i'm serious. i don't know. LLCoolBlake, apparently. he looks like Owen Wilson's ugly brother (wrap you're mind around that one!) i don't get it. but i get that i don't get it. i like his song choices. i think he is the most consistent with his good song choice. i was glad to hear no beatboxing (i am the gimmick police and, between his beatboxing and sanjaya's hair, i can't take it).

paula creams her jeans over this guy...don't get it.

Song Choice: A-
Performance: B? A+? his reaction is so strong i don't trust my opinion.

9. Jordin - she took all the credit she built with last week's stellar performance and bought a pile of doodoo. i did not like this at all. poor song choice. completely out of range. she's not gwen and i think it was cheap. at least she could have picked a song that had more melodic vocals ("Spiderwebs" would have been awesome). eh, i'll give her credit for taking the risk, but don't go there again, sparks.

Song Choice: D+
Performance: C+

10. Chris R. - it was nice knowing you! oh, the producers want you to stay so badly. they gave you the coveted "last spot". why did you poop away your gift? "Don't Speak" - what?!?!? dumb dumb dumb choice. and again, Gwen knew what she was talking about. enough with the vocal runs. quit it! it sounds like you are trying so hard to sound like Christina Aguilera it's sad. is your mic on? how come i can even hear Sanjaya better than i can hear you? i feel for you, Chris, Seacrest out asked you that awkward question about Blake being the front-runner and we could tell you were hurting. don't worry, you will have PLENTY of time to get over it, starting tomorrow night.

i wrote on it first!

2006-11-30T11:25:00.000-05:00

The New York Times Magazine's Consumed Column featured the Rachael Ray Sux Community, which I wrote about first in February of this year!!

it's nice to be first...even though i haven't written to NARC in 10 years...i need to write more...there has been too much gossip passing me by!!

i can't believe this butt brought my back to the blogosphere.

2006-09-25T23:04:00.000-05:00

professional douchebag Aaron Carter got engaged and then called it off in the same week! the kid is 18 years old!

this poor poor girl - she dated BOTH Aaron AND Nick Carter. that's unfortunate. and now she's been shot into obscurity as the girl that wasn't good enough for AARON CARTER!!! arg! if that wasn't enough baggage to put her in competition with Innovation Luggage, she's a Playboy pinup. goodness.

Hmm...at least she can put herself in the same spit pool as these following luminaries!...

Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Hillary Duff
Willa Ford

stay away from him, lady - the guy's got risk factors.

don't call it a comeback - sorry i've been so un-narc-ed for so long. career calls...but now i will try to post regularly again. you folks have been sweet to check in and i need to produce SOMETHING to show my appreciation. i don't know quite what to think of Clay Aiken these days.

Hedden to the requests!

2006-08-08T09:51:00.000-05:00

my friend Brian asked that i discuss this:

GIBSON GIRL: It's been 13-and-a-half years since Debbie Gibson last appeared on the Adult Contemporary tally. She returns this week teamed with Jordan Knight, a former member of New Kids On The Block. Their duet, "Say Goodbye" (Trans Continental), is a new entry at No. 35.

good for them? i'll be honest, i didn't give the single a full listen just yet. my sister tried to play it and i didn't want to hear it. it's such a weird combination for me. Jordan Knight tried to sell himself as all things sexy a while back (full disclosure: i enjoyed his first single "Give It To You"), but his appearance on The Surreal Life (full disclosure: i enjoy The Surreal Life) made him look old, horny and kinda dumb. as for Debbie (sorry, girl, not calling you Deborah), she's a candidate for Desperado of the Year. from her sad and hilarious Playboy pictoral (she got bumped from the cover by a clothed Paris Hilton - clothed!!) to her feeble attempts to distance herself from all things cheesy, DG would pull Jonathan Knight from his agoraphobic cocoon and pull cro-magnon Danny Wood from complete obscurity if it smelled like a hit.

i root for these two because they're diminished wattage needs to be combined to even get any airplay, like some D-list Voltron. and they have decent enough voices. Debbie's done Broadway, which she'll tell you enough times if you let her. and Jordan? well, he still does that "sounds like a girl" thing that even Joey McIntyre ditched eons ago (can i? can i mention them all in one post? who says i can't? DONNIE WAHLBERG!)

if i listened to the radio, i would give it a listen, but i don't think they even have enough chops to open for Nick Lachey, and that's something sad.

i couldn't find a decent photo of the two together, so i give you some choice publicity photos:

what? did you think i was gonna show this?

2006-08-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

a while back, a jar fell out of my medicine cabinet and hit my sink. as a result, i have a small chip that i would like to fix. i googled "sink chip repair" and came across this product from the British plumbing supply site,plumbworld:

its slogan is "So Simple Even a Complete DIY Novice Would Find It Easy", which is a little clunky for me.

but what really sold me on the product was the following testimonial:

"This product is so easy to use even Mr. Bean could use it!" - Henry Keith Marshall, Isle of Wright

Mr. Bean?!?!? i love it!! i know that it's a British website, but c'mon! that's like endorsing a product here because "It's so easy Jack Tripper could use it!" (John Ritter, RIP).

i think all future products should be graded by whether or not Mr. Bean would be able to use them.

"Even I can do it!"

comments without context: skeeby dude

2006-08-01T13:23:00.000-05:00

"She's every inch a lady."
- 71 year-old Morgan Creek CEO James G. Robinson, in response to Dina Lohan's response to James G. Robinson's response to Lindsay Lohan's response to booze and partying.

ew...

2006-08-01T13:17:00.000-05:00

this is what Oprah snacks on:

i'm trying to think of some way to tie this to Gayle King, but i'm stumped.

i'm back!

2006-07-26T11:43:00.000-05:00

hey, guys - sorry it took me so long to post. i just got back from DISNEYWORLD!!

a marvelous time was had by both - i would love to post my funnies on it, but i also said i would do that for thailand and what happened?

i'll try to get my thoughts on everything that's anything in one post - wish me luck!

1. Lance Bass is Gay!
no talent, no good looks, and now not even any chance to pity-boink him on his cold ride down Fame Mountain? what good is he for now?!?!?

and with this, Chris Kirkpatrick (aka "Pineapple Head") officially captures the title of "The Other Other Other Other Guy in 'N Sync".

[[YAWN]]...congratulations!

2. This Christie Brinkley thing is batsh*t crazy!

Everyone catch Peter Cook's mea culpa in the New York Post yesterday?

"I'm contrite. I'm stupid. Foolish. No excuse."

aiyee...no excuse is right, but then what?!?!? obviously, he doesn't owe me, thatrisa, an explanation. he owes Christie one! a couple! infinite! the whole thing sounds sleazoid. the buzz around town is that Peter felt like "Mr. Christie Brinkley" which stripped him of his manhood so he had to get 19 year-old girls to find it. smart man, at least he made sure they were of age.

should Christie forgive him? which is better - a 4-time loser? or a big-time dummy? of course, they have kids together so that always complicates things, but it sounds like he had warnings from others to get out of this situation before Christie found out. so he is not only foolish, he's an idiot. and i don't know if you can cure idiot. and since you can't cure idiot, what's to say this will never happen again? i don't know them so i can't say, but i don't think this public plea is doing Peter any favors. ugh, it reeks of Lindsay Lohan's dad and Jon Voight. Peter, you don't wanna join that club!

3. oh, also Lionel Richie's in the club!

From Peep-hole:

"What are fathers for if you can't point the finger every once in a while?" he says. "The good part of it is she is aware of it. ... She has heard this all her life from me so this is just a continuation of the reminder."

what about those reminders when she was adicted to heroin!! he's trying to paint himself as a wonderful father, but how convenient that it occurs when her star is watts bigger than his. geez, lionel, you're rich enough to afford a dryer - STOP AIRING YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY OUTSIDE!!!

4. Katharine McPhee is getting on my nerves!

still not on tour with the idols? what gives? i know the doctors say no speaking (thank you, doctors!), but this is ridiculous. if you can't sing now, how would you ever be able to go on tour? face it - even taylor sings less than half of what he would need to when he tours solo. your voice would never make it!! ugh, and i just don't believe that you are resting. i think i just hate her and this is fueling the fire, but she better get her voice and butt out on the road soon, or she can kiss her tween fans goodbye.

ugh, re-entering the blogosphere has made me pooped. more soon, promise! for pete's sake, there's George Michael news to discuss!!

And, with that, Christie Brinkley becomes one of THOSE people...

2006-07-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

From Peep-hole:

Christie Brinkley and her fourth husband, architect Peter Cook, are going their separate ways after 10 years of marriage, the CoverGirl model's rep revealed Tuesday.
__________________________________

i always had a weird feeling about Christie Brinkley. her split from Billy Joel - i don't know what Billy did, but it sounds like cheating? anyways, i was always bothered that Christie would not shut up about it! and it was always in that thinly-veiled bullshit way, "I'm not going to talk about it, but he knows what he did." oh, way to keep a secret Christie. i always thought that was really disrespectful, especially to little Billy. i see someone taking a similar tactic in the rags lately and me no like...

if no news is good news, be quiet!

this post is for Silvija, who asked me to please update my blog - enjoy!

but how does she LOOK??

2006-07-13T10:39:00.000-05:00

from one of Billy Joel's favorite papers, The Daily News:

Season three of "Project Runway" premiered on Bravo last night, but a tragic accident marred the finale of the Heidi Klum show.

Designers compete for $100,000, a car and other prizes, while their model wins a spread in Elle magazine.

Hungarian model Jia Santos (whose real name is Eliza Jakubek), 18, became one of the three finalists. But near the end of taping, she was struck by a bus while riding her bike to the show's location in the city.

"She was dragged underneath the bus," her agent, Avenue Models' Javier Hernandez, told us yesterday. "She fractured her skull and her eye socket and was in critical condition for three days. Now she has been in intensive care for a month."
______________________________________

i think it's bold to attempt such a brazen name change. and apparently, the modeling gods thought it was TOO bold.

get thee to American Idol??

2006-07-06T09:32:00.000-05:00

snuck a peek at last night's set list and this caught my eye:

"Elliott, Chris, Bucky and Ace: Patience"

oh my goodness...elliot channeling g'n'r?? could it be?? i might have to make my way to continental airlines arena!!

also, katharine was "sick" last night and didn't perform...risa is suspect.

the verdict is in!!

2006-06-30T12:11:00.000-05:00

last saturday, boyfriend bman, friend steve and me went to S'MAC!! i was desperate to go opening day and apparently everyone else in new york was, too! the place was PACKED. we waited in line for a half an hour before we even got inside! and once we were inside, good luck finding a seat! if you are going to make the sojourn to S'MAC,

#1 you MUST BRING BACKUP. no going solo, unless it's to-go, unless you don't mind waiting a sweet while for a seat.

bman waiting in line while snagged a table. steve was meeting us there, which takes me to my second rule...

#2 if you don't show up together, be prepared to WAIT. we were lucky, bman was just ordering when steve arrived, so we could all eat together, but if you order before you friend gets there, be prepared to eat alone for 20 minutes before they get there food. and that's if they're right behind you. if they have to go to the back of the line, tack on another 30 minutes!!

my food came first (because i was on a separate receipt as my dining companions), along with my soda. i wanted to get a build-your-own which is an option on their menue, but because of the crowds, there was no BYO that day...boo. so i got a good old regular mac'n'cheese in a medium sized skillet.

#3 LADIES & (most) GENTS - the medium (aka Major Munch) size is ALL YOU NEED. the small one is a great size, but will provide no leftovers and may leave you wanting more. my Major Munch gave me a nice little leftover amount while bman and steve polished theirs off completely. the large size is a family skillet, no lie. it is for sharing or for serious eaters (of which i know a few).

now for the actual taste - DELICIOUS!! i was scared that it wasn't going to be cheesy enough, but in this case, subtle was good. this is not the type that is sticky and gooey and thick dripping with cheese, like a cafeteria M&C. oh, it is definitely cheesy, but it is a slightly more adult taste than, say, the blue box. kids will probably need hot dogs or something else fun in them. but not for me, for me, it was great. AND the leftovers heated up great the next day without coating my dish (and subsequently, my dishwashing sponge) with cheese. i think that S'MAC mac 'n' cheese was built for leftovers. they do takeout, which would be delicious and they offer a bunch of different options. steve and i got regular, bman got Cajun, which was good - onions, peppers, sausage, but in the end it was great to sample, but i wouldn't want a whole skillet of that. but i loved the crispiness of the veggies and anxiously await the true arrival of build your own.

my review in a nutshell:
GO TO S'MAC. it is worth it. the price is GREAT. the crowds are ridiculous and they haven't mastered their AC (it was an oven in there). don't come with fussy kids/adults or if you want to breeze in and out. it can be a stressful experience, but the food more than makes up for it. if you don't want your soda before your food, tell them or the ice they give you will be a puddle by the time your food arrives. word on the street is that the cheeseburger mac'n'cheese stinks, but i can vouch for regular or, if you want a little more, cajun.

i give S'MAC *** 1/2*

Hollywood Pecking Order

2006-06-30T12:04:00.000-05:00

poor Rachel Leigh Cook. if you can't snag a role in The Devil Wears Prada, you might as well read it.

now go back to the kitchen and fry me some drug brains.

put your boners away, boys...

2006-06-29T11:44:00.000-05:00

Marcia Cross is off the market.

aiyee!! between her and Nicole, the Translucent Skin Singles supply is running dangerously low!

at least SOMETHING good came out of Taxi

2006-06-28T14:21:00.000-05:00

from peep-hole:

"NASCAR racer Jeff Gordon is engaged to Belgian model Ingrid Vandebosch, PEOPLE reports in its new issue.

Gordon, 34, and Vandebosch reportedly met on the set of the movie Taxi, in which the model and sometime actress played a bank robber and Gordon made an unbilled cameo appearance."

i give'em sometime between 18 months and forever.

Amy Sedaris makes being damaged cute

2006-06-23T10:32:00.000-05:00

Amy Sedaris' cute-as-pie apartment was profiled in The New York Times. she looks like she would be very easy to shop for. not only would she be so gracious and kind you would feel like a gift-giving king, but it seems like you would make her day saying, "Amy, I saw this at a garage sale and thought of you." i bet she would love old medical equipment.

i always wished i liked Amy Sedaris more than i do. i used to watch Exit 57, begging myself to find it hysterical so i could have my female comedy idol (instead of Dave Foley as a woman). it was just a little too strange for me. and Strangers with Candy was even more disconnecting. the best thing about that show to me were the names (i believe Onyx Blackman is a thing of genius). but i just found it to be too weird. i felt like comedy Amy was punishing me for not getting the jokes. it's like in high school when you're the misfit who's afraid to admit you wish you were mainstream. you just can't win.

everything i read about Amy mentions her tough past and events that must be painful, but i feel like we'll never get close enough to feelings behind it. i just want to sit on a couch and cry with this woman.

i guess i identify with Amy most in the portraits she did for Kevyn Aucoin. she managed to take herself seriously enough to be freakin' GORGEOUS, but had the humor that most of her bookmates were seriously lacking (I'm sorry, Martha Stewart, you're not Veronica Lake so just smile or something!).

M&C 4ME

2006-06-22T11:16:00.000-05:00

S'MAC!!

a restaurant DEVOTED to MACARONI & CHEESE!!!!! are you kidding me? are you effin' KIDDING me????

this is a dream come true. i am in love with macaroni & cheese, it's the best!! i love Cafeteria's (get it with bacon!) and have cried myself to sleep mourning the loss of Chat 'n' Chew's good taste. Mama's is delicious, but far (and we all know we go there for the bird). Bomo works in a pinch when you want a side of stuff better than you could have made with the blue box. but there is always room for more good Mac 'n' Cheese places - ALWAYS.

gimme gimme gimme!!! i need to try this!!

2006-06-22T08:52:00.000-05:00

Hugh Jackman should be scared sh*tless that he doesn't look that much better than Brett Ratner.

whatever, dude

2006-06-22T08:46:00.000-05:00

love on, you crazy f**kheads!!

hmm...

2006-06-22T08:32:00.000-05:00

will they last? i don't know. i think she's really strange. i don't know him at all, but i heard he was really into drugs and women. it feels "too soon", but after 10 years of Cruise, i would be grabbing onto the next dude that didn't float away (i'm talking to you, Kravitz).

she sorta has Elizabeth Taylor status now - she keeps popping up in the news, whether or not there is news to be had, and we're all a little tired.

she seems happy, but that could just be a reaction she had 2 years ago that's been frozen in Botox.

explain this again?

2006-06-22T08:27:00.000-05:00

presto strange-o!!

2006-06-22T08:06:00.000-05:00

from McPaper:

"American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee waged a five-year battle with bulimia that she managed to get under control just before the competition began last winter, she tells People magazine's next issue, on sale Friday.

She credits her parents and actor boyfriend, Nick Cokas, 41, for helping when she began a three-month program at L.A.'s Eating Disorder Center of California in October."

41?!?!? oh, Katharine, i know you wanted us to relate to your bulimia story (Jamie Lynn Sigler route, nice), but you just threw us all a curve with the 41 year old boyfriend (ah, also very JLS!)! you're no longer a home-spun girl from the jaded world of LA, you're part of the machine!!

the guy looks stank nasty.

i now have a hard time believing that, with the bulimia and the hunger for stardom, you weren't seriously considering Scientology at one point. Katharine McPhee, you are the Keri Russell of American Idol.

at least you can now blame your body and control issues for your hideous taste in Idol outfits.

by the way, don't you enjoy that "I'm so f**king serious" photo that People chose to run?

morning apartment jones!

2006-06-19T09:34:00.000-05:00

i have been looking for this article everywhere - in Jane Magazine, actor/creepy Michael Rappaport writes about evicting his friend/tenant/actor/creepy Natasha Lyonne. according to the scan of the eviction notice, NL was living in MR's brownstone on 18th street - i LOVE 18th street! i think it is one of the nicest streets. it has some really nice brownstones and some cool apartment buildings...it's just a gem, until Natasha pooped all over it (not actually confirmed, but probably true).

thank you, Gawker, for finally giving me the link!

got sex on the brain?

2006-06-15T07:50:00.000-05:00

this'll sober you up quick.

Denise, what are you doing? this is sleazy!! is this what you want your daughters to see? daughters, mind you, that unfortunately got their father's looks? Richie Sambora? please! they'll be lucky to get Tico Torres - no, not 2026's equivilant of Tico Torres, the actual Tico Torres.

i prescribe a long, soapy shower and "Independent Women, Part I" on repeat, STAT.

fall in line, boys!

2006-06-15T07:44:00.000-05:00

Nerd shirts are back!

now, every guy in New York, make my dreams come true and start dressing like this.

are you serious?

2006-06-15T07:40:00.000-05:00

is this news? she looks pregnant? how can an opinion be "Breaking News"?

such a shame, In Touch. you rode all that Brangelina Baby momentum into the ground.

the moment of judgement has arrived

2006-06-13T15:57:00.000-05:00

What would you do
If I DVR-ed Tuesday Night Book Club?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?

You just might say,
"At least you didn't DVR How to Get the Guy."
I'd tell you I did, then you'd flee

2006-06-12T08:17:00.000-05:00

8eth Leav3l is what everyone hates about actors. her need to be ON is a big, big NO.

i replaced some letters in her name with numbers because i refuse to give her the satisfaction of finding this when she googles herself.

2006-06-12T08:04:00.000-05:00

it has finally come full circle, Banana Republic is selling safari clothes again!!

2006-06-09T12:29:00.000-05:00

wave your flags and cover your brains as Zombie Anthony Grand Marshalls this weekend's Puerto Rican Day Parade!

2006-06-09T12:07:00.000-05:00

From the CNN "Law Center":

"HANOVER, New Hampshire (AP) -- Authorities raided the Dartmouth College fraternity that inspired the 1978 movie "National Lampoon's Animal House.

Court documents regarding search were sealed, and authorities said only that the Alpha Delta house raid Thursday was part of a two-year investigation."

Evidence removed included two sledgehammers, a computer, and Stephen Furst.

Oprah truths up!!

2006-06-09T11:20:00.000-05:00

i was watching Oprah After the Show online, which is what you do when you're suffering from Original Oprah Withdrawl. it was the follow up to "Why I Hate Myself: Mothers Confess" and Oprah was discussing how her weight is in direct correlation to how she's feeling about herself and how much joy she's allowing into her life. then, she did something i didn't expect her to do, she owned up!!

Oprah has been pinning her weight gain on her now embarrassingly long-ago trip to Africa, where the meat was so unsanitary and unreliable that she had to eat nothing but bread and that carbs were the reason why she gained so much wait. well, she finally admitted on After the Show that she gained weight because her busy schedule allowed her to go numb about other things in your life. she didn't go into detail, but i am glad that she finally pinned her weight gain on more than her limited access to the right food. i believed it for a while, but when the weight never came off, i just thought it was an excuse.

so, hooray!! a breakthrough!! Oprah, i wish you hadn't saved this precious nugget for After the Show! this is the juice we wanna hear LIVE!!!

things i like: The Last Days of Disco

2006-06-08T12:45:00.001-05:00

here's another thing that may be a series or may dry up with this one post, but with the summer bringing no good television (Oprah's on vaca!) or much gossip to speak of, i thought i would talk about things i really like.

i love The Last Days of Disco. it's one of my favorite movies, but not one that i can watch over and over again. in fact, i've only seen it a handful of times, but i really connect with it and enjoy the trip it takes me on. here are some of the things i adore about this movie:

1. Chloe Sevigny - i freakin' hated her in Kids and haven't seen her in anything else, except for a "look at my range!" appearance on Will & Grace and her naughty naughty with Vincent Gallo in The Brown Bunny (thank goodness for internet pervs!), but she fascinates me. her sleepy delivery, her fashion sense (in this movie, she looks smoking in all her clothes!), her sexy dance moves. in conversation, she is so mousy and blah she's almost pathetic. i say almost because she is in a movie, after all.

2. Entry-level jobs - the two leads, Alice and Charlotte (played by Ms. Sevigny and Kate Boobinsale) are editorial assistants at a publishing house. i don't know why, but i like seeing folks who work in boring/ordinary jobs more than in "glamourous" jobs (don't need no PR mavens or fashion magazine editors, thank you!). maybe it makes me feel better to see them struggling. i don't know what it is, but i like that they don't have it all.

3. Apartments!! - i love movies that feature apartments or any real estate talk (hello, i am willing to see The Break-Up for this very reason!). i especially love apartments that look within my reach. Alice, Charlotte and their friend Holly (played by pre-Imitation of Christ creator/Jimmy Fallon Boinker/Wes Anderson Dumper Tara Subkoff) share a railroad apartment in Manhattan and it is cramped and unsexy and i love it. they make a "fancy" dinner to impress some guys with Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup. Alice has to sleep in the equivilant of the living room. it feels real and difficult and it makes me giddy.

4. Drugs!! - i've never done coke and i don't want to, but this movie still manages to make drugs look good. even when the strung-out dudes are high on coke, it looks like it's just what you're supposed to do! i don't know, maybe it was the time, but i have a hard time believing that not everyone was on something in the late 70's and early 80's. i think i can watch this movie from a safe distance because now, in 2006, drugs have been completely eliminated from society, right?

5. Kate Beckinsale's tummy - adorable. you know you're in a "smartie arty movie" when the gratuitous skin is just tummy...oh, and a naked Jaid Barrymore (girl's gotta eat!).

6. The mini-stars!! - this movie is a wealth of "where are they now"-worthy celebs! Robert Sean Leonard, Jennifer Beals, Mackenzie Astin (my personal fave)! and while all of these folks have gone on to...things, it was nice to see them when they were definitely going for cheap.

7. Josh Neff - played by Matt Keeslar (aka Johnny Savage from Guffman), this guy is a sweet and strange lawyer who reminds me of my boyfriend, except for the being institutionalized part. the school snob in me is impressed that he went to Harvard and i like how honest his character is without caring about the consequences. in one scene, Josh is ironing his shirts for work and i find that incredibly attractive. and i love his name. Josh Neff - i don't know, it's one of my favorite fake names.

8. The cattiness! - Alice and Charlotte should not be friends. they even admit that they weren't close in college and the only reason why they are living together is because they can't afford to live alone and don't know anyone else. this relationship is what i find most appealing in this movie. it's real - these aren't best buds conquering the world. these are two girls who quietly chip away at each other while trying to earn enough scratch to live on their own. i imagine this is what being in a sorority would have been like - banded together against "lessers" but at each other's throats when it came to guys.

9. The music! - the closing credits to LDOD are among my favorite in history: "Love Train" by The O'Jays. i had my LDOD soundtrack with me the night my harold team Dillinger made its debut and we used "Love Train" as our entrance music and it was magic. the whole soundtrack is genius - i highly recommend you get it today.

i know tons of people who hate this movie and i can totally see why. there are a lot of jerky, unsavory characters and a lot of snobby, upper-middle class bitching going on. it's all true and i don't think i would want to be friends with any of these people (except maybe Alice and Josh Neff). but i am fascinated by their relationships. they're young and have little enough to complain and envy but too much to really suffer. they don't know what they want so they allign themselves with folks who they understand but don't necessarily appreciate. they think they're ridiculously smart, and their brains hurt from dealing with everyday people. but when you watch the movie, you know they are just in a bubble of their own creation and that one moment it will pop and they'll have to deal with the real world. i don't hate these characters as much as i feel sorry for them and sometimes envy how simple their complicated stuff is.

eh, i'm no film scholar - i just like this movie.

welcome back!

2006-06-08T10:30:00.000-05:00

From the gossip hounds at msnbc.com:

"Keanu Reeves was spotted at L.A. restaurant Cut looking cozy with actress Claire Forlani, reports a source. . ."

who?

oh yes!

Claire Forlani! the british actress who could do an American accent to save her life!!

the girl who was Hollywood's "Next Big Thing" after starring opposite Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black!

the girl i always thought was Natalie Imbruglia in those spacey L'Oreal ads!

the star of what must've been unfortunately humbling, The Medallion!

now, just as we thought you OutMol-ed the Master, you come clawing your way back onto our celebrity radar - BRAVO!!!

say it ain't so!!

2006-06-08T09:56:00.000-05:00

From the Knower of All Things:

"Singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette and her fiancé for the past two years, actor Ryan Reynolds, have split, a source close to the couple confirms to PEOPLE."

No!!!!!!!!!! i loved this couple! my sister and i have been Ryan Reynolds appreciators since Fifteen and love her or hate her, Alanis is a force. i thought the two of them were really adorable and i was happy that after the boneheads, she managed to find someone and be at peace.

eh, what hope do any of us have?!?!?

More requests!

2006-06-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

narc.com reader the great sangu has been begging me to do another post on Michael Bolton & Nicollette Sheridan, this time on their new duet, "The Second Time Around" on Bolton Swings Sinatra, the self-explanatory new album from the King of the Crass Croon.

i finally sampled a snippet of it on my iTunes last night and all i can say is:

Huh?

Nicollette is barely audible on this track. you can hardly hear her! and it just sounds like a mess vocally. i was never a huge fan of Bolton's and his voice seems like it would be very hard to find a match for. so i don't know why they thought that having Nicollette make her singing debut on this was a good idea.

actually, it's a great idea for the fans, and the great sangu. and it made the rest of us talk about it, which is an accomplishment in itself.

kudos to you, Bolton, Master of PR!!

can they both go away now?

2006-06-08T09:07:00.000-05:00

James "Beautiful" Blunt and Petra "Tsunami" Namcova have finally turned their heat into noxious gas.

now get out of my face!!

nugget!

2006-06-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

i didn't want to render my verdict on just a thumbnail print, but now that i've see this enlarged version, i can now say:

ADORABLE!!

say what you want about Brad (i can't stand him), but he does make good baby! the angle of the pic has Shiloh looking a little piggy, but i am sure that isn't the case. please! we need this baby to be the most beautiful human! if we were doing an interplanetary beauty pageant, she would represent EARTH.

meanwhile, you would think Jon Voight had a new movie coming out this week, the press he has been doing about this baby. i am not a big JV fan. of course, i don't know the true scoop between he and Angelina, but it just seems like he should keep his mouth shut and not talk to the press about his daughter's life. there are ways to reach out without putting your face all over it. i don't know, it just seems grubby.

Happy Birthday, Bro!!

2006-06-06T09:38:00.000-05:00

My brother Arin turns 23 today!! Hooray!! i love you lots, bro!!

as for the pic, this is what you get when you Google image "Happy Birthday Arin".

Porkchops and A**holesauce

2006-06-06T09:03:00.000-05:00

i caught My Fair Brady 2 last night on VH1 - ugh!! i am a huge Brady Bunch fan and watching it just made me so disappointed in Christopher Knight. who is this douchebag?

long story short: He's marrying Adrienne Curry, the first "America's Next Top Model" (aka "America's Current Has-been"). their relationship seems to be built on spanking each other and bubble baths. Chris is constantly laughing at her/laughing at himself for being in this situation. he only agreed to marry her if:

a) she signed a pre-nup
b) she quit smoking
c) he got "fixed" - WHAT?!?

he wants to get a vasectomy because he doesn't want kids right now. Adrienne offers to go on the pill or stop having sex, but Chris thinks those ideas are ridiculous. she keeps telling him he has trust issues and control issues and Chris just shuts down at this idea.

what are these people doing together??? maybe the sex is hot and they make each other slightly more famous, but they should not be marrying each other! it's really upsetting. Chris is just a jerk-off through and through in this episode. he's treating Adrienne like she's a baby and she is a little on the kooky side, but you're the one who's marrying her!! apparently he's been married twice before, so at this point he should know he's rushing into something...risa does not approve.

earlier in the episode, he met with Barry Williams for lunch. Barry stressed the importance of communication and making decisions together.

what?!? wisdom from Johnny Bravo?? you know the world is upside-down now.

since i know they already went through with it, this show lacks its sense of suspense, but i am still drawn to the a**hole maneuvers of Chris Knight. i know why Adrienne wants in - she's a wreck! i think she in search of all the stability she can get, even if it at the expense of her self-confidence. but Chris, you should know better than this. be nice to the girl, you stupid jerk!

aiyee!!

2006-06-06T08:59:00.000-05:00

Dear Amazon.com,

2006-06-05T15:31:00.000-05:00

For the last time, I do not want Wings on my WishList!

Beards 101

2006-06-05T12:28:00.000-05:00

Matthew Broderick: A+ (A plus extra credit for baby)

Toothy Tile: A- (Post-Kiki pickings have not been great)

Kevin Spacey: Incomplete (Where are the ladies lately?)

Hugh Jackman: C+ (Too much "I love sex with a woman" talk)

TR Knight: F (you expect me to believe you boink the Burke?)

thank goodness for big sis!

2006-06-05T12:24:00.000-05:00

how would Ali Lohan get anything fucking right if not for big sis Lindsay?

get thee to London!!

2006-06-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

Patrick Swayze's in Guys & Dolls!

i love how he's playing Nathan Detroit, yet for the photo shoot, they dress him up like Danny Zuko.

i would love to see this, i wish i could travel by air somehow to get there.

alas, just a fool to believe...

glad or sad?

2006-06-02T08:36:00.000-05:00

this morning i saw Jill Talley on a commercial for the Home Depot. should i be sad that her sketch talents are being used to peddle doors? or should i be glad she's working period?

2006-06-01T15:08:00.000-05:00

i have been picking on The Break-Up for quite some time now and i can't quite explain why. i am not on Jennifer Aniston right now and i feel this movie is trying to shove her down our throats after we welcomed her into our homes for almost a decade.

it's funny, when i tell people how horrible i think this movie is going to be, they're all very dissappointed.

"Really? It looked good in the commercial!"

are you effin' kidding me? it does NOT look good in the commercial. the only line i chuckle at is when Vince and Jen argue about doing the dishes:

Jen: "I want you to want to do the dishes."
Vince: "Why would I want to do the dishes?"

funny. i'll admit that. but the rest of the commercial is dreck. it's dreck beyond dreck - do not get me started on the gay brother singing "Owner of a Lonely Heart"! and i know this makes for a stinky movie because they usually put the best stuff in the commercial - unless it's a thriller, or an action movie. but even then...i have a hard time believe that there is anything more satisfying than watching Tom Cruise run and smash into that car in MI:III.

but, in a weird way, i am itching to see this movie! i know, can it be? well, yeah, and i'll tell you why:

i wanna see that apartment!

i wanna see this prime piece of real estate that these two are going War of the Roses over. that was the best thing about the preview and the commercials. the sumptuous white couch, the sleek streamlined dining room, the colors, the Rufus Wainscotting - this is what i would pay $10 to see!! even in the movie poster - what kind of sheets are those? they look so comfortable!! and they live in Chicago, of all places! heaven!!

seriously, as a real estate/travel junkie (all vicarious), this movie is soft porn!

congrats, Cuomo!!

2006-06-01T14:53:00.000-05:00

Rivers Cuomo graduates - hooray!!

Pinkerton helped me through freshman year and Green Album was my savior at my first job. i would be in love with you, and maybe you would love me back, but i would never stop worrying that i was dissappointing you by not being japanese.

a big THUMBS UP to you!!

2006-06-01T14:08:00.000-05:00

From The Chicago Sun-Times:

"It's the sequel no one wanted to see: Sun-Times movie critic Roger Ebert, who battled back from cancer three times before, will be undergoing cancer surgery again."

oh no, my dear Ebert! thankfully, he is expected to make a full recovery. Ebert is awesome. he's on my list of folks i would love to have over to dinner. the luminaries who share this distinction include:

Bruce Vilanch
Paul Ruebens
and Clay Aiken - if he's ready to get real!!

i guess to get into my good graces you need to be fat, gay or both.

let the Braxlash begin!

2006-06-01T10:07:00.000-05:00

McPaper did a story on how the American Idol finale affected record sales:

"Other Idol finale performers showed mixed results: Live registered a nearly fivefold gain (2,100-9,700) and Prince climbed to 21,000 from 13,000. But Mary J. Blige was up only 3% and Toni Braxton dropped from 4,800 to 4,400."

Ouch, yet Yay!! Toni B. pissed me off with her performance and i was so angry that Idol let her duet with Soul Patrol. she ruined his moment and she was a terrible choice.

by the way, i caught some of the "McPhee 'n' Hicks in '06!" campaign stops on the tube this week and here were my thoughts:

Entertainment Tonight - such garbage!! Mary Hart should be shot. this featured all the Idol finalists, except for Jammin' Yamin...hmm...Mary was trying to get dirt on everyone and it wasn't working. dude, these kids are BORING. that's the problem when you have finalists that have been pursuing music for years - there's nothing going on with them!! if Elliot had been there, they could have said, "This time last year, you were working in a pharmacy - now this!" but with Soul Patrol and Katharine, what are you going to say?

Larry King Live - Seacrest Out hosted and Taylor and Katharine were joined by Randy Jackson with Paula Abdul drunk dialing in. pretty boring. it seems like the press is treating Katharine like a soft touch. everyone was afraid to ask her if she was dissappointed and they didn't let Taylor bask in his victory, which he should be able to. a stark contrast from the Ruben/Clay show a few years back which was a hoot and a delight, and tipped me off that they would be seeing Frenchie Davis in Rent the next night...just like me after i bought my ticket!!

The Today Show - Taylor and Katharine were shielded from the crowd during their interview (i could tell by the distinct absense of hoots and hollars). again, Matt Lauer asked if Simon made Katharine cry and she vehemently denied it. i don't like this girl and i don't know why everyone is focusing on her so much. do they want to make sure she gets her fair shake? the way they directed so many questions to her, you would think she won...she is not going to be Clay 2!!

2006-05-31T08:12:00.000-05:00

from my guilty pleasure, The New York Observer's Love Beat:

"He proposed over a Venetian canal at sunset, presenting Ms. Giuca with a three-carat, round-cut, platinum-set solitaire diamond from Leo Schacter."

Leo Schacter?!? well excuuuuuuuse me. just say it - Kay Jewelers!!

but is it "wise"?

2006-05-30T15:23:00.000-05:00

from my favorite, NY Times Real Estate section:

"JAMIE-LYNN SIGLER, who plays Meadow Soprano on the HBO series "The Sopranos," closed this month on a two-bedroom apartment on Leonard Street in TriBeCa. According to the deed, she paid $2.15 million for the space, which is about 2,500 square feet."

does Jamie-Lynn have this much money? how much do you think she gets paid for the Sopranos? does AJ pay her alimony? I'm sure that she has enough for a down payment, perhaps even the whole kit 'n' kaboodle. but given her track record, she better make sure she has enough left over to buy groceries or hope and pray Heidi Fleiss puts herself in the news again.

Welcome the celebrebabies no one cares about!!

2006-05-30T13:27:00.000-05:00

Baby Johnny! (to Mira Sorvino & Chris Backus)
Kingston James McGregor Rossdale! (to Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale)

now go join Grier and Moses in the sandbox and hush up until you snag a playdate with Suri or Shilloh.

poor jude!

2006-05-30T13:09:00.000-05:00

running shots are the cruelest!! no one looks good when they run and with a photog capturing your every move, there must be intense pressure to keep running even if you get tired.

the shorts have got to go, and i don't mean in that way. he looks like he just crawled out of bed - a no-no for a celeb! doesn't he know who he is?!?!?

in other news, i hear he and Sienna are "working things out". aiyee, i guess only the brits are allowed to be this kooky!

desperado of the day

2006-05-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

Jennifer Faniston Helen A.S. Popkin wrote an op-ed on the subject of Baby Brangelina for msnbc.com. it heaps buckets of praise upon about Jennifer, Vince and Jennifer & Vince and does some deep-dish dissing of Angelina, Brad and baby.

while op-eds and especially gossip op-eds require no fact-checking or source confirmation, i have no idea how Popkin wrote this with a straight face:

"Maybe it’s just as well if 'Oceans 13' doesn’t get made. Personally I’m not one for sequels. Oh, apparently there’s going to be a 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith II.' Me, I prefer original screenplays. They’re much more … honest. They don’t belong to somebody — or something — else. Original movies like 'Derailed,' 'Rumor Has It' and of course, 'The Break Up' do gangbusters at the box office."

i get it - Brad's a lying louse! moveon.org!

if any of Aniston's movies made money, she would have had an inch of footing to stand on. only one of her movies has been a box-office success: Bruce Almighty. and it's spawning a sequel! without Jim Carrey or Jennifer Aniston!

thanks to the accounting department of imdb.com, let's see just how much money it takes to bust up a gang these days:

Derailed: $36,020,063
Rumor Has It: $42,996,140

that takes care of the Crips and Bloods. with Vince's comedy track record, The Break Up should eliminate MS-13 no problem!

someone's sucking it in

2006-05-26T10:22:00.000-05:00

what did this woman do to your self-confidence?

my mama-jama recap

2006-05-26T08:35:00.000-05:00

so i've finally had time to digest the two-hour American Idol mega-finale and here are my thoughts:

- Bucky sounded worlds better than he ever did on the show!! he harmonized with Daughtry and he didn't make it stink!! i don't know if he's gonna make it in the biz, but if he continues his good sounds into the tour, perhaps some country start-up label will take a "Buck" shot!

- Paris sounded worse this time around. her duet with Al Jarreau was butt. and her sound was so inconsistent, it seems like she forgot how to sing into a microphone.

- speaking of microphones, why does Carrie Underwood insist on hiding behind hers? i'll admit, i didn't watch last season's AI (it took me two whole years to recover from Aiken!), but i don't get her at all. i heard her version of "Alone" from the competition and i did think that rocked, but she just doesn't give me any emotion when she sings. now that i've seen her perform a little, i realize that Kellie Pickler was probably the victim of Carrie Underwood backlash. who needs two American Idols in a row who sound pretty as a peach, but look completely snoozapalooza when they sing? is it too late to vote for Bo Bice?

- Elliot + Mary J. = HEAVEN!!! seriously, the second i heard Elliot start "One", i knew that Mary was going to be his partner - she has been riding the 1 Train ever since the Tsunami, people!! i think that Elliot was too polite or in awe to truly take his place with Mary, but once he did - magic!! if Elliot had chosen "One" or any song with more rock sensabilities during the competition, i think he would have stolen some Daughtry fans who figured a)he's married and b)he's every other girl's favorite. Elliot fared better than any of the Idols, Soul Patrol included!! everything he sang sounded great and i am sure we will be hearing from him soon.

- Katharine + Meat Loaf = Presto Strange-o!! if you need proof that Katharine cannot act, look no further than her mini-musical with the Meat. first off, Meat sounded terrible!! what happened to him?? i am hoping and praying that Bat Out of Hell III has some juice in it, but the prospects are not good. second, Katharine was so disgusted with him, she couldn't even look him in the eye when she sang with him. she just seemed too snobby. McPheever broken!

- Daughtry + Live = Sweet!! i actually like Live a lot (brides to be, think of the acoustic version of "Heaven" for your father-and-daughter dance or PowerPoint slide show!) and thought that they sounded great together. i thought Ed hogged the mike a bit - folks were here to see Chris and their thunderous cheers proved it. i'm just glad that Daughtry got to reconnect with his fans in time to save him from obscurity. but go easy on the singing, boy - at that rate, your voice will never survive the tour!

- Soul Patrol + Toni B. = BARF!! you ever see the episode of Degrassi Junior High when Kathleen has to have her Quest for the Best teammates over her house to watch the tape of the returning champions and Kathleen's mother embarasses everyone because she's stone cold drunk?? that's what it felt like to watch Toni Braxton try to sex her way into "the ghetto" with Taylor. Bedroom-eyes McPhee, learn from this: this is what happens when you rely on sex rather than talent.

CLAY!!!!!!!!

you have rendered me speechless. while i was thrilled to see you perform again, after your self-imposed sexile, the look was gross!! you look gross!! and i love you enough to tell you this!! what is going on? do you need help? i will help you, but you need to ask for it. seriously, i don't know where this train is heading, but it is not good. Clay, just come out already and become the George Michael/Elton John lovechild the world has been waiting for!!!!! the world can no longer be denied your gift!!

and while you're at it, quit asking for the "Eddie Furlong" at the salon!!

speaking of Eddie Furlong, what the hell is this?!?!?!? this just came out last year!!!!

my DVR can br-reathe again (br-reathe again)!!

2006-05-25T15:07:00.000-05:00

thanks to narc.com reader Brian for the scoop!

"NBC, as expected, announced that it is moving to another night its new Thursday night 9 p.m. drama for the 2006-07 season, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, to Monday night at 10, and will replace it in that Thursday time period with hit game show Deal or No Deal."

Matthew Perry looks like butt. i am so glad i now cannot be responsible for the cancellation of this show!

2006-05-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

hmm...verdict is still out on Ashlee Simpson's new nose (right?!? i wouldn't have known it was her if i didn't see the photo on my beloved People).

it could be a bad photo, but she looks a lot cheaper with her new schnozz. kinda skanky? i don't know, i don't want to be too hard on the lady, but i think it might have been a little too late in her career to presto chango. once you have 2 albums under one nose, stick with it...

Mary J. Blige: "One" trick pony

2006-05-25T10:57:00.000-05:00

she's turning into Bono, people. just giving you fair warning.

2006-05-25T10:48:00.000-05:00

narc.com's 1st annual Danny Glover Memorial Award goes to a seducing Toni Braxton, who proves that, even thought Taylor looks like he's pushing 40, she's "getting too old for this shit!"

who is this?

2006-05-25T10:17:00.000-05:00

what has Clay done with Clay? what is this sh*t?

this is Clay's triumphant return - singing Elton with a tone-deaf Clay look-a-like? i wonder if Clay spoke to anyone backstage - i bet not. he's got mucho damage control swirling around him since "the scandal". word to the wise, straightening your hair will not necessarily make you "straight".

i will try my best to dissect last night's results show, but it is too ridiculous to do in one sitting...but piece by piece, my opinion will emerge.

insult to injury

2006-05-24T15:33:00.000-05:00

did you know that Tori Spelling auditioned for the role of Katharine McPhee's father? she got the looking-like-a-dude thing down, but couldn't cry on cue.

separated at birth?

2006-05-24T15:17:00.000-05:00

Oprah and Elie Wiesel walking through Auschwitz...

...and Carrie and "The Russian" riding through Central Park.

where are her friends?

2006-05-24T10:28:00.000-05:00

who let Kimberly Caldwell leave the house looking like this?

i know you want to be a D-list celebrity reporter (not to be confused with a D-list celebrity, which is the equvilant of an A-list celebrity reporter) and co-hosting TV Guide Channel's Idol Tonight is a great start, but a word to the wise: The Katie Wagner look is not the answer.

yes, you make me proud!

2006-05-24T09:29:00.000-05:00

Soul Patrol owned last night's show!! i have already rewound his "single" 10 times on my DVR. i agree, not the best song in the world, but the chorus is catchy and Taylor sells it hard!!

of course, in the land that booted Daughtry, there is no sure thing. but just as people cried "Foul!" that fateful night, there will be a lot of head scratching going on if Katharine is crowned our American Idol.

Taylor simply outsung her, no way around it. yes, i heard Katharine's rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". yes, i thought it was good, great even. but a glossy interpretation of a classic does not an Idol make. you might be saying, "What about Fantasia's 'Summertime'?" well, if Katharine's competition was Dianna DeGarmo, i would saying we've all caught the McPheever. but Soul Patrol is genuine tough competition. his fans are crazier than Daughtry's or Jammin Yamin's.

in the end, Taylor alone achieved the task at hand - take a brand new song and make it your own. Katharine's song was completely forgettable and i have to blame her for it. the opening of "My Destiny" sounded like Evanescence-lite, and it went downhill from there. when Katharine doesn't have control over the melody, some wonky stuff happens and last night she was flailing in the wind like nobody's business...and that sad move to her upper register - she simply doesn't have the power of Kelly Clarkson.

Taylor, on the other hand, overcame his vintage opening slump to bring "Do I Make You Proud" to a rousing, celebratory closing. it was great. it sounded like something i would hear on mainstream radio (which should assuage the fears of many Hicks Hackers) and it sounded like Taylor and Taylor alone!!

i will be sad if Taylor does not win because i think he deserves to. if it were a showdown between Taylor and Daughtry, i would be torn, because i think both bring a sound that has been absent from Idol since its beginning. but if you're going to match up Taylor and a second-rate Kelly Clarkson, the choice is obvious.

Soul Patrol!!!!

nuptuals whassuptuals

2006-05-22T09:36:00.000-05:00

was reading the Times' Sports Page for Ladies and saw that Cara Nussbaum, the Sarah Jessica Parker look-a-like of The Real World: Chicago, got married!

for those who don't know or remember or care, Cara was that season's "I-just-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-and-want-to-be-free" girl. she got together with old boyfriends and friends or friends - she even pulled a groupie maneuver with a "Huge Rock Star!" that i had never heard of before or since.

i refamiliarized myself with her romantic escapades that season - poor hubby!! i'm glad those two found their way because the guy she married isn't even mentioned in any of these romance recaps and, according to the Times, he was the guy she broke up with when she got on the show! not a blip about Scott, but a hellalot of mentions of some dude named Jared. aiyee!!

in other opinion, i love love love her dress (Monique Lhullier, natch) and am tickled that her Real World co-star/soap-stud Kyle was in attendance.

for all you Grey's Anatomy fan out there...

2006-05-18T09:54:00.000-05:00

watch this!! it's the Grey's Anatomy presentation at the ABC network upfront. interesting how Katherine Heigl isn't there...watch this, please - it gets gooooooood around 2:57.

sorry, dunno how to post youtubes just yet...

do not make me choose!!

2006-05-18T09:21:00.000-05:00

ABC is moving Grey's Anatomy to Thursdays at 9pm. what the eff?!?!?

no, i am not a CSI fan. my conundrum comes from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Aaron Tokin's new show on NBC.

you see, Sports Night is one of my all-time favorite shows. ever. they only had two seasons, but i have watched every episode at least a dozen times. pre-Desperate Housewives Felicity Huffman, pre-Six Feet Under Peter Krause, pre-obscurity Josh Charles, pre-and-post stroke Robert Guillaume and the exquisite Sabrina Lloyd, these people have seen me through some rough television times. so i feel indebted to Aaron Tokin' to watch his show. not The West Wing, mind you - i thought that was self-congratulatory muckruck.

but Studio 60 looks real good!! i read the pilot script and it has a lot of similarities to Sports Night, hopefully more than West Wing. it skewers SNL, who has been asking for it for years. i just hope that the extra 30 minutes packs some juice. i thought Sports Night was perfection in a bottle (even after Dana and Casey got together, people), so i am hoping this holds some of the same magic.

so, if possible, i think i need to watch Studio 60 and tape Grey's. i know, that seems crazy. but i cannot believe Grey's is moving. i loved it on Sunday. i relied on it on Sunday. Thursday? where the big boys play - i happen to be a big boy who doesn't watch TV on Thursdays, so i'm screwed. now i really have to remember to turn off my DVR before i leave the house.

what do we feel about this?

2006-05-18T09:12:00.000-05:00

In Touch says that J. Lo is preggers. apparently touching your belly and showing gray roots are the proof in the pudding.

what do you think, people? do we approve? do we care? i know she would like us to care, but i just can't muster up the strength. i don't like Marc Anthony - i watched his In Style Weddings when he renewed his vows with Dayanara Torres and looked like a blubbering fool. and then he dumps her for J. Lo - dirty pool.

also, this baby is going to be so butt i won't know what to do with myself.

2006-05-18T08:47:00.000-05:00

Harry CJ, i don't know wanna know your "Skinny Secrets"...

it's been jammin', Yamin...

2006-05-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

of course it was Elliot's turn to go last night. he might sing circles around Soul Patrol and Katharine on his on-nights, but on his off-nights he just looked too bland and stiff. it's like he was the ultimate perfectionist - if he was turning in a subpar performance, he'd let you know it. as opposed to Pickler, who tried to sell that crap all the way to the end - no, i never bought that "I botched it" jive. if she were really truthful and endearing, she would have said, "I murdered the living daylights out of that song" on multiple occasions.

i got home around 9:45pm, just in time for them to present an award to Clive Davis. and then they revealed the elimination. the show started at 9pm - what did they do all that time?? probably the world's saddest medley of Clive hits.

did you see Katharine's family when Elliot was eliminated? they were beaming. they couldn't contain or get over themselves. i know they were thrilled that a full third of the voters are stricken with McPheever, but trust that Seacret Out will give the final two their props and then you can go on the gush fest. i just thought it was in bad taste. i actively want her to lose now, and i'm sure that, with that little televised snippet, Soul Patrol inherited all of Elliot's votes.
look at how greasy and cheesy Elliot used to be!! man, Idol gave him a sense of style - he turned Little Jaw into a certified cutie!!

the vote total was so close!!! 33.68% vs. 33.26% vs. 33.06% - a real SQUEAKER!!

man up, Soul Patrol - time to break the McPheever!!

For what you get in return, it's a STEAL.

2006-05-18T07:56:00.000-05:00

for a fraction of the price of a cup of coffee, you can own two piles of garbage.

i bought them both, of course - why is Katie constantly crying?

Grey's makes me pays - again!!

2006-05-17T12:38:00.000-05:00

i checked the music listing for the Grey's Anatomy season finale. i wanted the music used when Izzie quit.

it's called "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. their song, "Somewhere a Clock is Ticking" was featured when Izzie cut Denny's LVad wire in the precursor to the season finale.

these dudes?!? my friend recommended Snow Patrol in the beginning of last year and, while i liked some of their songs, i just wasn't that into them. they kept coming up on my iPod shuffle and i couldn't pay it any mind. i just wasn't getting hooked.

but now, in the context of Grey's, they make so much sense - they make great songs!!

are you LOST freakies gonna make me watch LOST?

2006-05-17T11:28:00.000-05:00

is there any hope for a girl who's only seen one episode total of Lost? that's not even one complete episode, but parts of a couple of episodes.

JJ tells us that this will be the greatest season finale in the history of season finales. i find that hard to believe, but i do think that anyone who has the balls to make a claim like that must have something interesting lurking underneath. would i even understand it?

i need to know if there is room on this bandwagon to board!

UPDATE: geez, i probably won't even be home to watch or DVR this. forget it. i'll just pack my whining into my Oceanic Airlines bag and jet.

go easy on the Soul Patrol...

2006-05-17T09:41:00.000-05:00

Taylor - you are pretty much a lock for the finals. will you calm down, please?

i didn't realize until last night how much Taylor flashes that "Soul Patrol" card - every second he's not singing, apparently. stay classy, Taylor!!

my thoughts on last night's performances:

Elliot - it was fun while it lasted. last week you pulled the rabbit out of the hat when you hit the ball out of the park, but i'm out of "out of"-s. it's time for you to go. you screwed up Journey?? what's wrong with you?!? you are the white boy with absolutely no white boy sensibilities!! to screw up Journey in front of Randy - that put you in a dog pound on a different color.

i don't even remember the next two songs that well. you did Paula's choice nicely. and when all else fails (and it will tomorrow night), you can always work for the Donny Hathaway Appreciation Society. but you lost the fighting spirit that you had last week...i think you were still shocked you were still here.

i cannot believe you wore that cheapo Kangol to meet Clive Davis. and the schmooziness you displayed when meeting him - "I am looking forward to working with you in the very near future" - don't catch a case of the Daughtry Hubris!

Katharine - you deserved to go last week, but since that didn't happen, you fought like heck and don't deserve to go this week. but i wouldn't mind if you did. you are still trying to have sex with us through your song and unless you are singing out of your hoo-hoo, that ain't gonna happen.

your "Over the Rainbow" was really great and the fact that Simon chose your song shows that he wants you to move on and win it. of course, he's only thinking of $$ and you are the most marketable, but it definitely is a plus to have him on your side. of course, the judges all liked Chris, and look at what happened to him.

by the way, did you see the "WHERE'S CHRIS?" sign in the background - yikes! i hope that audience member wasn't clubbed after the taping.

your other two songs were eh - i hate that "I Believe I Can Fly", and you didn't do it well. your Ella song was a great audition for Broadway's Beauty & The Beast, which is where we'll find you this time, next year.

Taylor - stop moving!! way to make Paula feel like Courtney Cox during "Dancing in the Dark" and then promptly ditch her while you dash back onstage for the end of the song. good vocals, though, and i cannot believe that Bruce gave you the rights. i imagine the phone conversation went like this:

Bruce: Hello?
Clive: Clive here. Let Taylor Hicks sing "Dancing in the Dark".
Bruce: Who?
Clive: The old dude on American Idol.
Bruce: Oh. No thanks.
Clive: [muffled voices]
Bruce: What's that sound?
Clive: Scialfa in the trunk of my car. You sure you don't wanna rethink this?
Bruce: Fine, give him the damn song! Just let her go!
Clive: Soul Patrol!

exactly like that.

Randy chose Taylor's next song and he finally got to complete the Joe Cocker impression with "You Are So Beautiful to Me". i was afraid that it was going to be another mellow start and it was, but Simon liked it. as for his personal choice, "Try a Little Tenderness", it seemed like he added too many lyrics, but he still rose to the occassion and since i love that song, i feel he is safe...but who knows??

we will see who goes home tonight!!

yawners...

2006-05-17T09:06:00.000-05:00

Nicole Kidman engaged? eh, do we care? we met her as "Mrs. Tom Cruise", stuck by her as "The Former Mrs. Tom Cruise" and now she's just "Frozen Frigid Nicole".

the end of Mop Top & Peg Leg

2006-05-17T08:53:00.000-05:00

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Former Beatle Paul McCartney and his wife, Heather Mills McCartney, have announced that they are separating after four years of marriage.

i never liked them, then were happy for them, then forgot about them.

no pre-nup - aiyee!! Heather, enjoy your gazillions!

Oprah mysteries, explained...

2006-05-17T08:22:00.000-05:00

how on earth did Angie Harmon end up on Oprah yesterday??

first off, this photo looks like butt - and it's off the Oprah website!! i have a feeling that this is a clear case of "Burning off the celebrity footage". Angie was the star of the NBC show Inconceivable, which didn't even make it past 2 episodes last fall. they probably taped something with her in the hopes of using it to promote the show, or Sehorn or something. now that her star wattage has severely dimmed, they needed to use the footage quick or lose it forever. but what show can you build around 5 minutes of tape? ah, a live episode entitled "Best of the Best".

oh Angie, i'm so sorry Ali MacGraw had to come back into the spotlight to become "The Next Ali MacGraw".

make that a double - standard!!

2006-05-16T13:53:00.000-05:00

on today's Oprah:

"Gayle King is on a mission—the best cake in America revealed!"

this follows her "Best Burger in America" segment a few months back. Gayle King is thin enough to jaunt around the country searching for fattening food without being looked at with shame. Oprah, on the other hand, needs to justify every food remotely fattening as being a "special rare treat", like her Williams-Sonoma croissants, which she insists she only eats once a year. but if it's good food, like what Dr. Oz recommends, she starts cabbage-patching and rubbing her health in our face.

no shame in indulging, Oprah. just be honest with it. i'm so glad you finally stopped blaming your weight gain on the that Africa trip you took a year ago.

Skinny Oprah R.I.P. - and that's okay.

TOO CUTE!!

2006-05-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

i don't even like dogs, but this is just TOO CUTE!!

this is also too cute, but it also makes me nervous.

"Endanger Baby, One More Time"

2006-05-16T13:04:00.000-05:00

poor rock-stupid Brit-Brit! we are merciless!

geez, we're just rooting for him to end up floating face-down in a pool, aren't we?

Watch your hatch, Hatch.

2006-05-16T12:48:00.000-05:00

'Survivor' winner sentenced to 51 months in prison

PROVIDENCE, R.I. --Richard Hatch, who won $1 million in the debut season of "Survivor," was sentenced Tuesday to 4 years, 3 months in prison for failing to pay income taxes on his reality TV prize and other earnings.

What a university!!

2006-05-16T08:02:00.000-05:00

Jodie Foster spoke at my alma mater monday for their commencement, which made me insanely jealous. i looooooove Jodie Foster and would have been thrilled to have her speak to my class. at my graduation, all we got was some Nobel Laureate.

i read a report on the commencement online - in her speech, she criticized our Katrina response and quoted Eminem, nothing i consider too out there, considering who she is. but what really got my attention was this last little nugget in the article:

"Comedian Yakov Smirnoff, who earned a master’s degree in positive psychology, was among the approximately 6,000 graduates."

WHAT?!?!?!? Yakov and i are fellow alumni?? like the state of his career immediately following the Cold War, this is no joke. i'm very impressed.

see you at the reunions, Yaki!!

unlame.

2006-05-15T23:39:00.000-05:00

Denny died. Izzie quit. Derrick & Meredith did the nasty. Alex the douchebag was a sweetie. George made out heavy with Callie. there was also a prom going on.

the lameness of the 1st part ender was equalized.

LAME.

2006-05-15T22:46:00.000-05:00

i am not even through Grey's Anatomy season finale and i am pissed off. Crash Test Dummy lived?!?!?!? complete and utter birdseed. makes me so mad - Izzie went psycho, she took the heart of another donor and her reward is a marriage proposal?? crazy.

girlfriend, no!!

2006-05-15T14:52:00.000-05:00

did you watch Grey's Anatomy last night??? oh my goodness, i am so glad it concludes tonight because i couldn't wait another week to find out what happens with everyone.

since you probably didn't read it, but don't care, i'm gonna give my predictions/hopes:

Denny will die and Izzie will get kicked out of the program. for months, Katherine Heigl has been telling the press that one of the interns will not make it to the end of the year. we all thought it was Alex because he:
a) failed his boards the first time
b) wanted to do plastic surgery, which they don't do much of in Seattle
c) was a douche

but he has since:
a) passed his retake of the boards
b) stopped talking about wanting to do plastic surgery
c) become a douche with a heart of sorta-gold and talent

the writers on the gray's anatomy writers blog have major boners for Denny, although i don't know why. i don't hate him, but i don't see him as the huge catch worth killing your career over. plus, i think he looks like the lead singer of Crash Test Dummies:

Denny

Mmm mmm mmm mmm dude.

i think George likes Callie a lot, but cannot return her declaration of love. by the way, did you see when Sara Ramirez and Ellen Pompepe were in the same shot? Sara's head was HUGE compared to Pompepe's!! i hope Callie is not simply a rebound for George because i like her...and i think i like them together, but i am not too sure...

yes, the cat will be out of the bag for Derrick & Meredith's affections. poor Addison, just couldn't compete. i like Kate Walsh, though and hope she stays on the show - she was on one of my favorite Law & Order episodes.

i'll have to wait until tonight to see if i am right!!

Risa's #1 reason for wanting an NBC sitcom...

2006-05-15T14:00:00.000-05:00

The never-ending stream of fundorable promo shots!!

"Work is serious...seriously fun!"

"What?!? Our breakout star has no clothes on? We didn't even notice."

"Can you tell by our generic outdoor cafe that we take place in New York?"

"What about now?"

"I don't know if you can tell by this photo, but one of us is crazy."

"The family that jeans together stays together."

what a QT!!

2006-05-15T13:58:00.000-05:00

i gotta admit: the girl makes good baby.